today is my friend denise's birthday so like any normal person i decided to bomb her facebook wall with the very best craiglist m4w personal ads that money can buy. here are some of the highlights.
"SWM, 60+ would like to meet mature WF... Down the road if I can find someone I'm comfortable enough with I want see what its like to lick butt. I've never done this and since I'm getting old I'd better find someone I can do this with if I ever want to see what its like. Prefer BBW. I'll do the licking, no reciprosity required."
"I'm a fat kid..420.. tats.. not able to chill at my place due to slob roommate and lack of working heat lol..I am right by u.c. campus.. I'm fun.. I provide Arizona tea and I'll bring snax.. I own a 360.. I have my own money.."
"I'm looking for a submissive girl that could get into being a man's pet for a while. Get naked, put on a collar and I'll train you to be a good dog."
"I'm looking for a woman that would like me to be their pet for a couple hours. I'm content to wear nothing but a collar, and be trained to be a good boy."
"third time attempting to use craigslist... I liked what I said the first time but I accidentally posted it in the gay section so it won't let me remove it..."
"White male seeking a Filipina. Lets be friends first. Upside down English ok."
"I am a 49 year old blk professional man. I stand 6ft/3in & weigh 240 llbs. I wanna give my heArt and sOul to a mature, passionate, stylish and confident white female. Yes! Confidence is so, so seXy. I enjoy a variety of foods, music, and sports. My favoRite movie is "Annie". That should give you an idea."
"62 yr old married male (no plans to change current situation) 5' 7", chubby regular guy, looking for a dinner date Thursday or Friday evening."
"hello girls i am on here trying to find a good match for my bestfriend! ...my boy is 420 friendly its cool if your not just throwin that out their so you know whats up. sappy i know but i know my boy is the cuddling type when your alone. he can be sensitive to your needs and feeling. he somehow pulls off being accomodating to your needs without changing who he is.. so in other words hes always himself no matter the situation. he is a faithfull loyal being! in the past he is the one that has been done wrong everytime. he listeins to all type of music, he pretty much fits in no matter where hes at or who he is around. he works very hard, even with the flu!!!"
"snookie is my celebrity crush"
"Ok ladies I'm so sick of the games. If your looking for someone to take care of you. Keep moving it's 2012 learn to be independent! If your looking for a thug I'm not it! If you want a thug go find one you can visit him in jail when he's not stoned on your couch. If your in a relationship don't bother me please I mean really??? If you only talk in single word or sentence text not interested. I sick of girls saying there's no good men! When the reality is there are! Your just not giving them a shot!! Oh and if your going to get mad because I flirt with you? Nope!!! It's a dating forum! That's what you do!!"
"any lactating women out there? I am very experienced and would love to help you out when you need it. I am available everyday until 1 and can come to you."
"During penetration, we can begin to explore one another's wants and needs. Does this interest u?"
"Im super super curious as to how fake boobs feel. I wanna grab and squeeze a girls rack that has implants. Nothing sexual, i dont want to fuck or anything, but just want to satisfy my curiousity once and for all. I have pics, you must also, id even buy you a few drinks first if it would help!"
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