avani is going to kill me because we stopped into izen randomly ("hey look, it's a new restaurant!") for a quick early dinner today and i didn't have my camera so i made her stomp around in the snow with her iphone to get me the perfect picture of the exterior of the restaurant... and now i am posting this without her photos. (note: avani sent me the photos so i felt guilty and added them later.)
here is my reason (avani will forgive me): izen is so bad that i do not want you to see the semi-appetizing pictures of the front window and the food and think to yourself, "oh, those pictures look nice. it can't be that bad. i'll give it a shot." do not give it a shot. please, i beg you. spend your money somewhere else.
it looks appetizing...i really wanted to like izen. it's a cute little takeout sushi place that has popped up in what seems to be a little cluster of them on mcmillan just south of UC. it's brightly colored and serves sushi, korean food, and... frozen yogurt. ok, i know, that should have been my first warning sign.
my second warning sign should have been that the sushi is premade. the guy behind the counter, who was very nice and friendly and answered all my questions, told us that it is made 3 times a day, i guess in answer to the skeptical look on my face. i inspected the sushi. it looked weird. it was shaped funny and had strange colors in it. it looked about as good as the sushi i made for the first time a few months ago (which did not look very good).
warning sign #3: the sushi selection included a "steak and cheese roll." ok. i am sorry. not to be a sushi nazi, but STEAK AND CHEESE?!?! look. i am all for culinary creativity. i do not turn my nose up at fusion food. furthermore, i am not a food snob. i can equally appreciate a really good steak and a french fry dipped in a frostee. but god or nature or the flying spaghetti monster or whatever just did not intend for humans to eat certain things, and a steak and cheese sushi roll is one of them. the menu calls it "the best of both worlds." i don't know which worlds those are but it's definitely not any world i have been to. (note: i did not actually eat the sushi so for all i know it was really good... take my criticism with a grain of salt.)
the premade sushi selectionafter being thoroughly frightened by the sushi selection, avani and i decided to go with a hot option. there were three choices: bibimbap, beef gyu don, and "cheese fried rice." can we say warning sign #4. oh wait, i forgot a hidden corner of the menu: omurice. sounds intriguing? maybe, until you realize that your flavor options for this cryptic dish include "cheese burger" and "italian sausage." yes readers, that would be warning sign #5.
by this point, we should have run screaming, but the guy behind the counter was really nice and appeared to be the owner and living the american dream of opening up his own restaurant after graduating from UC with his degree in violin performance. and he was actually korean, so i thought maybe he would be good at making korean food. while we were in the middle of ordering (me: gyu don, avani: bibimbap), a drunkish sororityish girl who had been sitting at a table by the window came stumbling up to the counter, cut in front of us, and began moaning something unintelligible about needing some frozen yogurt.
i don't know what college kids are on these days but i think you would have to be under the influence of some combination of controlled substances to order more food in this place after you had already eaten a meal there. and in case you're still counting, that was warning sign #6.
(aside: i know i seem to really be relishing this, but the truth is that i hate writing bad things about restaurants. sometimes i am lucky and the places just die a natural death before i have to talk trash about them on this blog, ahem seny ahem. but really i do feel bad writing this. not bad enough to stop though. i consider it a public service.)
after a few minutes of wandering the oddly sparsely furnished restaurant (there were like 3 tables and very few chairs, and lots of empty space), our food was ready. we noticed that there was this weird combination of styrofoam containers and actual plates and silverware. we also noticed that the portions seemed tiny.
gyu donwe sipped the miso soup, which comes with all the hot items. i was hungry. "well it's ok," i said. "are you kidding me?" said avani. "it tastes like nothing. it just isn't miso-y. it tastes like hot water." of course, she was right. we switched to our food. my gyu don was... odd. the flavor was pretty good but it was big hunks of beef, not shredded. also, it was really oily and the rice was drowning in sauce.
avani's bibimbap was just straight up bland. the beef tasted like nothing. the vegetables tasted like nothing. even the sauce could do little to revive the meal. on top of that, she ate like 3 bites and then was left with nothing but rice. i was eating as fast as i could to try to get through my meal before she started scavenging. but then i got to this huge chunk of fat and gristle and i let her have the rest of mine.
bibimbaphere is the worst part: we paid $20.13 total for this meal. and we did not even order drinks. just some rice, a little watered down miso soup, and a few crappy bites of bland food. we could have eaten like kings at cilantro (or king wok, or thai express, or chicago gyro, or chipotle...) for half that.
"i can't wait to go home and eat some leftover pizza," said avani. i was mad because i wasn't going home just then and had to wait until 10 pm to eat again.
"here is what we have learned from this meal," i said as we left. "never try anything new."
11 comments:
That review of iZen you linked to, at Cincinnati.com? Look at the photo. Those are my hands!
I've eaten at that place since the review's writer and I had dinner there, and my only complaints are the bland (miso?) soup and that if you arrive later in the day, they're out of a lot of their premade sushi and won't bother making more. Settling for my third choice on the menu is kinda pathetic.
That said, I thought the ratio of meat and vegetables to rice was was adequate. It was enough to mix so that every bite was a small piece of meat with a larger chunk of rice. Tasty.
BTW, I added you to my blogroll at
http://oddcincy.wordpress.com/
I know exactly what you mean by not relishing writing a bad review - especially when it is a small, locally owned restaurant. I would hate to be seen as someone pivotal in a restaurant's demise. (did you see the court case recently dismissed against City Beat where they had characterized a bar's clientel as "skanks and thugs"?) However, some places just need to go away, albeit better if done on their own. Had a similar experience a couple months ago. Went to a BBQ restaurant that was SO BAD I thought I was on a hidden camera show. Worst brisket that had ever been in my mouth. That was right before I started blogging my experiences, so I didn't have to wrestle with that dilemma. Heard just the other day they were out of business.
For the future, I agree with you. What higher a purpose could there be than to keep unsuspecting people from eating bad food?
Cincy Hound
oddcincy: that is so funny that it's you in that photo! bloggers are everywhere.
re: the bibimbap, maybe it was an off day, but i did not like it. every single other place that i have had bibimbap in the entire greater cincinnati area (riverside, korea house, asiana, sung, sunny deli, my own rice cooker) makes it much better than izen for about the same price and a much bigger portion size. i thought it was flavorless and totally unsatisfying.
cincy hound dog: i have a history of being pursued by crazies with half baked lawsuits, so i totally would not put it past some nut case restaurant owner to come after me for not liking their food.
the other sushi place, maki express, by penn station is much better than this. go there next time you're in the area
i like this food blog
Liberal Foodie beat me to it....I've not been it iZen, but Maki Express is quite good for its size and price.
Thanks for the head's up. I've been wondering about this place for a while, but have never had the courage to try it. The whole sushi/frozen yogurt combination made me hesitant.
I was thinking about stopping into this place, thanks for the heads up. Nice blog by the way!
-Ed.
www.edthesportsfan.com
Hi there. I come in peace.
However, this review is pretty inaccurate. They don't even serve sushi anymore: it is all authentic Korean food, most of which is made by the owners. The soy sauce, the miso, the kimchi, the yogurt: all their own recipes.
Seriously, go back and try that bibimbob again. I think you might be used to American portions if this wasn't enough for you. I usually can't finish it. It is particularly healthy and they tend to stick to traditional Korean styles.
As I always say, I'll try anything TWICE. Give it another chance.
All the Best-
Cassandra
thanks for the update cassandra. this blog is just my own personal hobby so it can tend to get out of date pretty quickly since i don't usually write about a place more than once (it's boring).
i'm sure from a reader's perspective, i should try things twice but i'm poor and don't usually waste my time if it's not good the first time. however, when i get a good tip from someone then it's sometimes worth it so thanks for sharing!
I read your review and have to say that you are very off with all your comments. Not sure if you have had Korean food from other places. I happen to be Korean and have actually had most of the over priced god awful Korean food in this city and I actually frequent Izen. Not because it has the best Korean food but that it has the best for the money in Cincinnati. Cincinnati in general is extremely over priced for Asian food and in particular Korean food. I dont know why. Maybe because white people in this city don't know better. But its pretty obvious that you had a mindset to not enjoy the food at Izen.
Again the food is actually pretty decent as well as the price. which is why I keep going. Certainly everything there is pre made and that takes away from the quality of the food but it still tastes pretty good overall. You can actually tell by the number of Korean people that actually frequent the establishment which is more than I can say for places like Riverside Korean restaurant or that Sung's Bistro place. Two of the worst Korean restaurants known to man. But you wouldnt know that judging by how many white people are in there at any one time.
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