hopcat

so matt is like "quit pretending to be surprised about all the good beer here, you're from michigan for crying out loud" but i can't because i am still amazed!  until moving here, i did not realize the state of beer affairs here and i will not get over it for a while.

one of the best new additions to the local beer (and food) scene is hopcat which i hear opened in like august or something.  rumor has it they have a location in grand rapids too, which my sources tell me has better food and also a more expansive menu, but i am pretty happy with what we have here.



i have been there twice now and i can't get over their beer list.  my sources also tell me that even though they have approximately 972 taps, they are regularly running out of things.  oh i'm sorry, you only have 834 beers available to me?  WELL WOE IS ME.  run out of all the beer you want hopcat, i can find something to drink on this list.

the first time i went there was for one of their tap takeover events, which is when they have like pretty much every beer ever created by a brewery.  that one was for atwater so you really could not go wrong.  i tried the macaroni and cheese and it was delicious, although i was slightly disappointed that it appeared to just get slopped in a crock right before serving with some breadcrumbs sprinkled on top rather than being all oozy and baked in the crock.  but the other side of that coin is that the food literally came in like 30 seconds.

tonight i had the amazing experience of their insane happy hour deal, which is a delicious burger (any burger you want!) with delicious fries AND a delicious beer for... wait for it... SIX.  DOLLARS.  yes, you read that right.  oh wait, i only get to pick from one of your top 20 taps for my beer?  and those top 20 taps include atwater vanilla java porter and dragonmead final absolution?  ugh, you guys are so stingy.

i like how the place looks and feels too.  it is really open with two floors of window walls and they got their hands on some of the cool antique lights from the MSU buildings that are slowly getting remodeled and the lighting is good in general (lighting is a thing for me).  service is good and friendly and prompt and attentive.  it can get busy, but it has never felt too crowded when i have been there.  of course granny has only been for dinner so who knows what it is like at like 1 am.

i also hear that they have a great brunch which involves a bloody mary bar so you know i will be spending a lot of quality time here in the future.

burger madness

i went to arthur's tonight with my running friends and i was like damn, this is a good burger. now i know they don't always get it right... how many times have i ordered an arthur's burger medium rare only to find my burger cooked all the way through? or maybe the bacon is overcooked, or the onions are undercooked, or whatever. but overall if you hit up burger madness ($7 for a burger with all the toppings you want and fries, sun-tues), you are getting some serious bang for your buck. also they are nice there and i like that. it makes my food taste better.

everybody has been talking to me about the cincinnati magazine 40 best burgers issue for the past week. i suppose it may seem worthwhile to try to rank 40 burgers, but i have a major beef (get it? beef? hahaha) with it because i mean come on, how can you really rank 40 different burgers? (side note: 365 things to do in cincinnati is doing a best burger quest that i think seems a lot more reasonable and reliable).

and apparently (i don't really know for sure because i haven't bothered to read the article since everyone just tells me about it all the time) it wasn't one person trying all the burgers. it was several people. and who knows what their personal ranking system is, and how they like their burger, and all the other variables. and that is the only way i can figure that the arthur's burger landed squarely at #37 or whatever. i am totally making that number up, it might be #23 or #15 or #31, i have no clue. all i know is that it is not high enough.

my favorite burger in cincinnati is terry's. i know i am a burger whore and on the bandwagon and blah blah blah but i'm sorry, that is a fucking good burger. somebody told me once that it tasted "livery" and i guess they went on a bad night. once i had a less than stellar burger there but every other time it is the best. now i agree, the wait is a pain in the ass and that germ infested knife that everybody passes around and touches and licks and whatever freaks me out, but the burger itself is delicious.

my #2 burger in cincinnati is my own. i'm not being full of myself, i just make a really good burger. very high up there on my list also are mayberry which serves a ridiculous burger which you should never eat for lunch if you want to try to get anything done that afternoon, and cafe de wheels because you can get their burger animal style, and gordo's because they put bacon in their meat, and zip's and paula's because they are cheap and good.

i have by no means tried every potentially good burger in cincinnati. places that people talk about all the time that i haven't been include:

• quatman's
• five guys
• wildflower, which serves #1 according to the cincinnati magazine article (i think)
• cricket lounge
• zola
• virgil's (do they have burgers? maybe i am making that up)
• lots of other places

anyway, the point of all this burger rambling is that we all have our own tastes and i feel like to say that one burger is superlatively the best, or to pretend that you can rank them in some sort of objective way (especially if the tasters and/or tasting methods are inconsistent), is silly. we do not need some magazine telling us which ones we should like and in which order. cincinnati has a lot of good burgers and we should all just be happy about that.

...crickets chirping...

sorry for the blog silence, oh dedicated readers. i am in the process of moving right now, and work is insane, and i am training for a half marathon. all of that leaves me with little to no time to blog. however, i am of course still eating. here are a few mini reports of foods i have eaten lately:

senor roy's taco patrol: disappointing. i got really excited about this one but found the tacos to be really bland and the service to be slow and inconsistent (they messed up my order twice, the first time by giving it to someone else who walked away with it, while i was standing there waiting). the tacos are filled with mostly rice (which is supposed to be cilantro-lime rice but tastes like just overcooked plain rice) and the meats are bland (i tried all three). the salsas are used too sparingly and there was not a corn tortilla in sight. i had asked for corn but got flour tortillas and since i had waited so long for my order i was too hungry to ask them to fix it. i will give them another shot since i only went once but they need to get it together, especially with other promising taco options looming on the horizon downtown (including taco truck azul and taqueria mercado, which is setting up shop in the old javier's space).

lunch on main: interesting sandwich combinations, but it's overpriced for what it is. it's like $6-7 for a sandwich, drink and chips not included. and the meats are just boring boar's head. i feel like they need to step it up a little in order to make it downtown.

taco casa: ok, the furthest thing ever from authentic mexican but damn that taco salad is addictive. you guys are going to laugh at me for even liking this but i love it. it is just shredded iceberg covered with ground beef seasoned with taco seasoning from a packet, pinto beans, tomatoes, shredded cheese, and a shit ton of ranch dressing. all of this is served with old el paso style taco sauce and cheap tortilla chips from a bag. i don't know what it is about this (well yes i do... it is the insane amount of ranch sauce) but i could not stop eating it. plus the guys who work there are really nice. absolutely in no way even remotely real mexican food, but i am craving it even as i type this.

bouchard's on main: surprisingly good. the menu does not look particularly inspired but they really use good ingredients and prepare the food well. i got a mediterranean wrap that had delicious, zesty greek dressing and fresh, ripe vegetables. i have also tasted the cuban and it is really good (although not particularly authentic) and comes with a really addictive cumin-lime dipping sauce. yum.

balboa's: totally disappointing. this place has the atmosphere of a chain hotel lobby and the waitstaff expresses their annoyance at having to stop gossiping in order to serve you in a very obvious way. on top of that, the food is a total waste of time. i have never had a more poorly prepared nathan's hot dog (on a stale bun) and the fries were cold and chewy. my friend ordered ravioli which was a small portion of gummy, overcooked squares drowning in bland sauce and it was $12. i heard the pizzas were better but there is absolutely no reason to eat here since you can get much better everything for cheaper pretty much anywhere else, and without the attitude.

cafe de wheels: readers, it lives up to the hype. thus far i have tried their burger (big, flavorful, cooked to a perfect medium as requested, and interesting with a caramelized onion marmalade and melty cheese) and their cuban (about as close to authentic as you can get around here), as well as the sweet potato fries and i have loved everything. the price is right and they seem to love what they do. eat there as soon as you can.

habits cafe: i have eaten there before but last night i just tried the ostrich burger for the first time. it was... ok. not amazing. it was just whatever. i would eat it again but would rather go somewhere else. i don't know why people love this so much, except maybe people who don't eat beef i guess. also their appetizers are insanely overpriced. we ordered bruschetta, which was four small pieces of french bread with tomatoes on top for $4.95, and chicken fingers, which was five medium sized fingers with celery (and no ranch dip) for $7.25. it was good in terms of flavor and ingredient quality but come on, $1.25 for a little slice of bread with some tomatoes and garlic on top?

el toro mexican restaurant: i was told by the girl who cuts my hair that this is the best mexican food in cincinnati. she usually has pretty good food taste so i gave it a shot despite hearing bad things from other people. it was disappointing. now to be fair, she is a vegetarian and i can see how vegetarians would like this place. they have lots of menu options, the portions are big, and you can request the smoky and spicy house salsa to give your food some flavor. i ordered the chicken fajitas which were the special that night and found them to be pretty bland and dry as hell. also, it's not particularly cheap. i guess it is better than don pablo's or something like that but i would not go back.

all right, that is all i have time for right now. soon enough i will write about my fish fry experiences so please remain at the edge of your seats.

red coat tavern

while i was in michigan over the holidays, my sister made a pretty serious proclamation. "i know a place that has the best burger in michigan." clearly i could not just let that one slide and demanded that she take me there. a short ride on 275 and there we were... red coat tavern.

the place was hilarious and... red. i read some reviews online and one angsty eater claimed it was "too red" for him to enjoy his meal. i found it to be a high, but acceptable, degree of red.

enough about the lighting... let's get to the food. they have an impressive menu that includes a scotch egg, a cuban sandwich, and two different seafood chowders. but we were there for the burger. you get your pick of toppings including onions which can be raw, grilled, burned, or caramelized.

there are about 10 cheese options and gruyere is one of them. smoked gouda is another. you can get "zip sauce" which is a reduction of au jus and butter. hi, my name is liz and i have died and gone to sauce heaven. and what about the bun? do you prefer brioche, an onion roll, grilled rye? or maybe something else? they have it. don't like lettuce? well how about watercress instead? the options were out of control.

we all got the burgers and we shared sides of onion rings and fries. the burger was everything it was supposed to be. huge (1/2 lb.), perfectly cooked (i asked for, and got, medium rare), delicious. the ingredients and toppings were top quality. there was a long wait but once i got my food i found myself completely unable to care.

another point worth mentioning is the beer selection. the back of the huge menu has a ridiculously long list of beers from all over the world. you could go there for a year and not try every beer (well maybe you could).

service was friendly. bellies were stuffed. taste buds were sated. best burger promises were fulfilled.

mayberry

i know everybody else has already blogged about it, but mayberry is fucking good. i took a break from my insipid downtown job and went last week with my coworkers. we tried pretty much the whole menu (except sadly the sloppy josh which they were already out of by the time we got there) and there was not a miss in the bunch. i personally had the burger... a 3/4 mass of juicy delicious angus beef cooked to a perfect medium rare sent over the top by a sweet and tangy onion compote, ridiculously thick and awesome bacon, and a poached egg. damn.

maggie's cobb salad, as seen through my crappy cell phone camera

it's tiny inside but the decor is cute and the service is friendly. the best part though is the prices. my insanely huge/awesome/artery clogging burger was only $8, and that included a small side salad. i was so full from this meal that i did not eat dinner and that. never. happens. i am serious, so much food. it's byob so if you want to make a nicer meal of it, you can. can't possibly get any better, right? well yes it can... they do brunch.

paula's cafe

paula's cafe is a favorite lunch spot for me and my coworkers (in fact, it is on the very short list of places where rickell will still eat after various assorted restaurant mishaps) but we don't go that often because it's kind of far. it was nice out the other day and we were having a mini celebration in honor of my 3 year anniversary of being in cincinnati so we decided to head down there.

the first thing you need to know about paula's is that unless a) you are very lucky or b) you go there really early or really late, you will have to wait for a seat. this is especially true if there are more than 2 people in your party. there were six of us so we ended up splitting up in order to not have to wait forever.

it's worth the walk and the wait though because the food is damn good. the menu is limited but all the food is fresh and tasty. all the bread is from shadeau. everything is made to order. they make some (maybe all?) of their own dressings and use delicious meats and cheeses, not just regular deli meats. i think they roast their own chicken or ham (or someone does for them).

my regular paula's order is either the cuban (not exactly authentic but the best you are going to get in cincinnati) or the reuben. if i am in a salad mood i go with the chef or paula's favorite. on this most recent trip i decided to go with the seven minute burger. paula's has had it on the menu for a while and proudly touts it as cincinnati's best burger so clearly i had to find out if this was true.

i got the burger with american cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickle. it was excellent. juicy and flavorful and the bun was so yummy. i think i actually could have gone with a 6 minute burger because it was pretty well done but it was still juicy so i didn't mind. big and filling and i was very satisfied with my choice.

i would rank it among cincinnati burgers at this point but the thing is, my personal cincinnati burger rankings are currently in flux. recently i had a burger at terry's that just was not the quality i have come to expect there. it was overcooked, dry, and not as flavorful as it should be, and the bun was overly buttery. and i have also had a couple burgers at arthur's in the past month or so that have been wonderful. perfectly cooked, juicy, big, delicious. so i cannot give you a definitive ranking on paula's but i can give you:

liz's cincinnati burger rankings for march-june 2009:

• arthur's
• paula's
• maribelle's
  
• zip's
• terry's (gasp)
• oakley pub and grill
  
• country cruz'en
  
• gordo's

ok i just realized that i eat a lot of burgers since the above list does not even count burgers i have eaten at my own or other people's houses. damn.

anyway, paula's is excellent and you should check it out. the food is awesome and very reliable, service is fast (if not always especially friendly), and it's reasonably priced. it's a weekday breakfast and lunch only place though, fyi.

country cruz'en

sometimes for work i have to go out to various outlying counties. the drive can be either relaxing or a pain in the ass depending on how the weather and traffic are. however any time i have to drive on route 50 and the weather is nice, i am happy because it means i get to stop for lunch at country cruz'en.

i love this place. it is a totally old school drive in. they come out to your car or your patio table and i think they even do the whole car window tray thing. the menu is burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes, etc. i always get a cheeseburger with everything, fries, and a root beer float (or sometimes a vanilla shake). yum.

the food is really nothing too out of the ordinary but it's just fun to break up my drive and sit outside in the middle of nowhere eating some delicious fried goodness. it's hilarious too because i am always on my way to or from some school meeting or court hearing so i am usually in a suit. i am pretty sure i am the only person to ever set foot in this establishment wearing anything other than flip flops, cutoffs, and a tank top. i have gotten a few strange looks but it is worth it.

the service is really friendly and the prices are good. sometimes they run out of things but who cares. the next time you are bored with nothing to do in owensville, ohio, i definitely recommend you stop by.

what i do when i'm home sick

(besides feel sorry for myself)

i grill.

arnold's

arnold's is really close to where i work (take note, stalkers!) so you would think that i would eat there all the time. but i don't. why? well for a long time, whenever i went there, it was not good. yes, it was cheap (they had a $3.95 or $4.95 or something lunch menu) but it would be like a fish square and some beans and you would eat it and it tasted bland and overcooked and you were hungry an hour later.

dinner was no better, it was a few offerings of overpriced (like $15!) pasta, which consisted of some noodles, tomatoes, and olives, which i could make better in my own kitchen. blah.

i like arnold's though, it is the oldest running bar in cincinnati and it has a nice outdoor courtyard with christmas lights and a little tree in the middle (which they cover in the winter so you can still sit "outside"). they have live music on weekends. the staff is nice and they have good beers on tap. so i was always sad that the food was so terrible.

well readers let me tell you, arnold's crappy food streak is over. i am not sure exactly what happened, i am thinking they got a new chef or something, but they have a new menu and it is great. i went for lunch a couple weeks ago with maggie, beth, and rickell. beth really wanted to go because it was st. paddy's day and she wanted the irish stew. maggie and rickell were like "eww, arnold's? i don't want to waste my money there." i had been hearing rumors about a new menu so i was up for it. somehow beth and i convinced them.

i am so happy we went. the food was great. i had the arnold's hot brown, which was roasted turkey, bacon, french fries, and grilled tomatoes all on a huge delicious roll and covered in a yummy cheesy sauce. yes, this was a heart attack on a plate but it was damn good and huge and filling. rickell ordered a burger with cheese and bacon and bbq sauce and it was cooked perfectly and delicious. the fries were yummy. the bacon was very high quality... thick and smoky and fresh.

they were out of the irish stew by the time we got there so beth ordered some crazy sandwich that i can't remember the name of, but it was like a big panini thing with chicken and blue cheese and grilled red onions. she reads this blog so she will correct me if i am wrong. she said it was delicious. i was so full from my sandwich that i did not even want to taste hers although it looked good.

only maggie was disappointed... she ordered the grilled cheese with tomato basil soup. i think the food was good (it looked good, a big fat roll with lots of cheese and tomatoes and herbs inside) but the problem is that we think her food got done a lot sooner than ours and sat waiting on the counter a while. cold grilled cheese = bleah. but i think the flavors and portion size were good.

prices were a little more than i like to spend for lunch, i think the sandwiches were all about $9. however, we had a really fun time sitting out in the courtyard and there was a crowd so it was festive. service was friendly as usual.

the menu is the same at lunch and dinner, so next time i would probably go for dinner since i think i would mind the prices less (i am really cheap, i normally spend less than $9 including tax and tip on my lunches when i go out). and then you would probably get some live music or something. but i totally recommend you check it out either way. if you have not been in a while, you are in for a happy surprise.

jason's burger quest

friends, readers, burger lovers... i need your help. it appears that my friend jason is on a burger quest. he is seeking out the best burger in the city. he has made a list of the places he wants to visit... and terry's turf club is not. on. it.

this is a mistake of epic proportions. if you do not eat at terry's, your opinion on burgers in cincinnati is irrelevant. this is why i need your help. go comment on his blog and tell him to eat at terry's. it is your civic duty. as a food lover in cincinnati, you cannot sit idly by and let this burger travesty continue any longer!

update: it seems that jason sees the error in his ways and is seeking burger suggestions. readers, help him. HELP HIM.

gordo's

sorry, i know i keep putting off writing about my (excellent) meal at pigall's last week, but even though pigall's is next in the queue to be blogged about, i have to get gordo's off my chest. i am so crabby about my meal there last night that i can't write anything good until i get this out of my system.

my first issue is that gordo's is hard to find, especially at night. i was riding with avani and we could not find it. we pulled over and got out the iphone. it turns out we were directly across the street from it and could not see it. we went inside and waited for lauren, who was 15 minutes late because she was driving up and down montgomery and could not see it. the cook told us there is some sort of norwood ordinance which does not allow for a protruding sign, but come on, what about some better lighting or something? it's in the middle of nowhere on this dark deserted street with just a couple dim lights.

good luck finding this place in the dark

on my second problem with gordo's, which is that the food kind of sucks. and that, readers, is a major problem. i kept hearing before i went about how the burgers are "almost as good as terry's." ok. they are not. i don't know if it was an off night or something but i prefer so many other burgers in this city to this. terry's (obviously), zip's, arthur's, cityview, oakley pub, courtyard, habit's, fatburger, my own, etc.

avani and i ordered the jean-robert burger (burger is mixed with bacon, onion compote, blue cheese, and mixed herbs, then topped with grape compote and goat cheese) and the gordo's burger (burger is topped with roasted poblanos, mushrooms, onions, smoked bacon, and boursin cheese) and split them.

the menu describes these as "half pound burgers." my ass. i know how big half pound burgers are because i make them. these were maybe 1/3 pound burgers. even worse, we ordered our burgers medium and got them straight up well done. not a hint of pink to be seen. they were dry as a bone.

the jean-robert burger

inquiring reader asks, "why didn't you just send them back?" well yes, inquiring reader, i could have done this. but the thing is i really hate wasting food. unless there is truly something wrong with my food, i just suck it up and eat it. the thought of throwing away the burgers and starting over again just because they are overdone makes me sick. plus, we were starving at this point and would not have wanted to wait.

so right now we are starting off with a disappointingly small, overcooked, dry burger. onto the toppings. re: the jean-robert burger, grape compote = chunky grape jelly. i don't like grape jelly. i could not taste any blue cheese. i tasted grape jelly, goat cheese, dry ground beef, and a hint of bacon. weird, strong flavors that did not go well together. bleah. especially after my meal at pigall's last week, i do not understand how this burger could possibly have even a remote connection to jean-robert.

the gordo's burger

re: the gordo's burger, there were a few bitty slivers of poblano, a big hunk of boursin, and maybe an onion or two. i think there were maybe five slices of mushroom (which was fine since i hate mushrooms). there was one half strip of dry, overcooked bacon. this one was just bland. and overall on both burgers, the toppings were sparse other than the big globs of cheese.

terry's, have you ruined me for other burgers forever?

i eventually got some dijon mustard and put that on the burgers and that actually improved things quite a bit. but by that point i had eaten 3/4 of my meal and could not longer really be pleased, especially since the only way i found to improve this burger was by drowning it in mustard.

the fish sandwich

the fries. big long hunks of slightly undercooked potato. no flavor. the pickle = sweet pickle. nasty.

however. it was not all bad. our bartender/server and the cook we chatted with were super nice and extremely knowledgeable about beer. gordo's has a long and excellent beer list for those of you who are into that sort of thing. i tried a stone levitation ale on the bartender's recommendation and it was one of the best beers i have tried recently. sooo delicious, i loved it. avani and lauren both got the hook and ladder lighter, also on the bartender's recommendation, and were equally pleased.

lauren got the fish sandwich and really enjoyed it. i didn't taste it but it was big, thick, and looked juicy on the inside and crispy on the outside.

avani shows us the one reason to go to gordo's

the atmosphere is ok. it's clearly newly redone with nice woods and dark colors, but it's kind of bland and corporate-ish feeling, even though it's not corporate. it doesn't have much character and there is way too much empty space. and the bathroom is weird... your knees hit against the freezing cold wall while you are sittting on the toilet. too much information?

i am kind of annoyed because i still have a spend-$35-get-$25-off restaurant.com gift certificate to this place, and i really don't feel like going back. i mean i would probably go back for the beer and the friendly staff, but for the food no. and that is what the gift certificate is for. anyway do i really feel like going all the way out to the middle of norwood for a beer? not really. and you can't use the gift certificate on alcohol.

does anyone want the gift certificate? i think it is $10 for it on the website so it can be yours as a thank you gift for a $5 gift to me (in cash or deposited into my paypal account). let me know if you are interested and i'll hook you up.

sorry gordo's. maybe you were just having an off night, but i'm on a budget. i just can't deal with risking another one of my precious dinners out on dry burgers, boring fries, and nasty sweet pickles.

summer dinner, winter night

it's a monday. i don't know any other way to explain my crabby mood all day. i did everything i could to avoid being in a bad mood. i got to work by 9:00 (a minor miracle, particularly on a monday). i drank coffee. i took a break for lunch. i returned phone calls. i got through my (hypothetical) to do list.

nothing bad happened. i didn't have any long, agonizing meetings. i didn't have any short meetings either. nobody annoying called or emailed me. the one person i had to give bad news to took it well. i didn't waste too much time on facebook.

still, by the end of the day i was a total crab and i really had no reason for it. at about 4:45, i realized it was really warm out and for me that means one thing... grilling! i immediately started craving a burger. but not just any burger... a big huge giant juicy cheeseburger. with guacamole. yum.

i made a quick stop at the grocery store where i snacked on pastries, ranch dip, and manchego cheese that they had conveniently put out to get my blood sugar and me through the trip without yelling at anyone or having a nervous breakdown over reaching my social interaction limit for the day.

finally i got home and made myself the burger of my dreams. readers, i have a gift, and that gift is burgers. i truly believe that i make the best burgers of all time. i love me some terry's, but i love me some liz's even more. if i regularly kept goat cheese and chardonnay mushroom sauce and lump crab meat and bearnaise sauce sitting around my house, i would probably never eat another burger out again. unless i was lazy.

sorry it's blurry... i was hungry and delirious (and crabby)

i wish i could give you a specific recipe for my burgers, but i am simply a channel through which burger magic flows from the heavens above into the ground beef in my kitchen. i throw in a bunch of shit, make it into a ball (always a ball... my burgers always tend to end up looking like meatballs), throw it on the grill, flip it, and... mmmmmmmmmm... so instead of a recipe, i give you:

liz's basic rules of burgers

1. fat is important. do not use the leanest meat possible. i like 85/15. what is that, chuck?
2. no utensils in the beef. use your hands only!
3. ahh, ingredients...
a. absolute essentials: one egg per pound of meat, minced onions, worcestershire sauce, a very generous dumping of lawry's seasoning salt.
b. optional (you need to use some combination of these though, it really doesn't matter what): crushed chili flakes, garlic powder, adobo seasoning, dried basil, dried oregano, cinnamon, allspice.
4. taste your meat. my burgers are not for the faint of heart. you must taste the meat raw to see if you need to adjust seasonings. sorry food hygiene freaks.
5. do not overmix your meat.
6. juiciness is important. do not overcook your burgers. 4 minutes per side should be plenty for a large burger, 2-3 minutes per side if they are smaller.
7. form meat into balls. grill. top with cheese (i prefer muenster or sharp cheddar) for the last minute of cooking. eat.

to go with my burgers, i made up a salad. i blanched some green beans. while they were blanching and then chilling, i mixed a sliced shallot, a minced clove of garlic, and a couple handfuls of halved grape tomatoes with salt, pepper, lemon juice, tarragon vinegar, and olive oil. then i tossed in the green beans and some cilantro. zesty, tangy, and crunchy. the perfect complement to a giant cheese and guacamole covered hunk-o-meat.

yes, that is a half pound burger. yes, i ate the whole thing. yes, it was that kind of day. (note to my mom, who reads my blog: don't freak out. i don't eat like this every day!)

re: the guacamole, i totally cheated. the avocadoes at the grocery store were rock hard so i just bought one of those packages that they have in the produce section. not the tubs but the kind in the packets in a cardboard box. i mixed in some lime juice, onion, and cilantro to freshen it up.

while i cooked, i snacked on some olives and drank a corona. no comments from the peanut gallery on my beer selection. anyway, by the time i bit into my ridiculously large and delicious burger, the day was melting away. at the end of the meal i had drifted into a zen like state... or as close as you can get on a monday night.

oakley pub & grill

i met up with avani and lauren at oakley pub & grill to plan our first cincinnati imports event... which, coincidentally, will be held at oakley pub & grill! funny how that works.

i have eaten here a number of times and just never write about it. normally i order a burger there. their burgers are really tasty. they put some spices into the meat. now it's no terry's, don't kid yourself, but it's a respectable bar burger. i always get the slaw instead of fries because i love it. cabbage, ramen noodles, and a sweet and savory dressing... sooo good and crunchy.

wings

this time i decided to branch out with my entree and gave the reuben a shot. ever since courtyard stopped making theirs last spring (which i still bitch about every time i go there... they are starting to hate me), i have not found a really amazing reuben in this city. well readers, i am happy to say that oakley pub & grill has a damn good reuben. tasty corned beef, melty cheese, and very well grilled. mmmm...

reuben

i am sure there are a lot of izzy's fans out there, and while i like izzy's as much as the next food blogger, i am not a rabid fan. my problems with izzy's:

• the meat is too fatty (i know you can order the lean but i always forget)
• the bread is not grilled
• at certain izzy's locations (7th and elm, i'm looking at you) they do not put thousand island dressing on the sammie. unforgivable!

that being said, i do like izzy's, it's just not a life altering gustatory experience for me the way courtyard's was.

portobello and crab appetizer

but back to oakley pub & grill. the reuben is good, the slaw is good, the burgers are good. oh yeah and avani also shared some wings and they were delicious. we got hot sauce and it was nice and spicy and the wings were crispy, juicy, and not greasy. really good.

mushroom burger minus the bun

avani got a mushroom burger sans bun (she is doing low carb week) and they were happy to oblige. lauren, who does not eat meat other than fish, got the portobello appetizer stuffed with crab. she said it was really good. she also got fries and ate them up.

inside the bar

oakley pub and grill is a slightly above average neighborhood bar with slightly above average food. one thing that is great is that they are really friendly. our server answered all our questions (many of them not food related) and the owner came out and chatted with us.

another awesome thing about this bar is that they have food and drink specials every night. on wednesdays a burger with up to five toppings and either fries or slaw is $6, on mondays wings are $0.40 each, etc. if you are in the neighborhood, you should definitely hit them up.

terry's turf club

readers, i have died and gone to burger heaven! terry's turf club serves without question the absolute best burger i have ever had in cincinnati (other than my own of course). after months of hearing about it from beth and maggie, and reading about it in citybeat and on wine me dine me, i had been dying to go forever. finally today i got my fill of the absolute most delicious burgers you can get in this city.

make sure you are hungry before you walk through this door

first of all i loved the atmosphere. i was all excited about all the neon signs since i just went to the american sign museum. it is very small and cute and on this pretty dead part of eastern ave. right near bella luna. when avani and i got there at 5:45, we were the first people other than a few locals at the bar. we did not know what to drink so we asked our server who recommended the margaritas. they were tasty. fresh squeezed juice and not too sweet.

even if the food tasted like crap i would have enjoyed eating here

we munched on peanuts and perused the menu. "oh my god, lump crab meat!" "whoa, scallop with ginger curry!" "holy shit, a lobster tail sandwich!" "dude, check out the sauces!" (note to vegetarians: they also have a very huge and tasty looking portobello mushroom available). it was clear we were newbies so our waitress came to the rescue again. she asked us some questions about what we liked:

waitress: well this is your first time here so you have to have the burger. do you guys like burgers?
me: oh yes.
waitress: so do you guys like goat cheese, or bacon, or grilled onions?
avani: umm... yes, yes, and yes.
waitress: what about sauce? what sauces sound good?
me: all of them.

in the end, with the guidance of our awesome server (whose name i have totally forgotten), we ordered two burgers to share. one had lump crab meat, bacon, and bearnaise sauce. the other had burgundy wine/mushroom/truffle sauce, bacon, goat cheese, and grilled onions. we also ordered fries to share.

who can argue with this???

ok, all i can say is OH MY GOD. the meat was perfectly juicy and cooked medium well. the sauces were amazing. the lump crab meat was real crab. the bacon was thick and both crisp and tender. the grilled onions were perfectly caramelized. the buns were buttered and toasted. we crammed our food in and both got stomach aches. we actually barely touched the fries but they were delicious too. fresh cut potatoes just fried probably 5 minutes earlier.

avani cannot argue

at the end of our meal, the waitress tried to tempt us with gelato but we were too stuffed to even think about it. and then she brought us some anyway! a little taste of both the mango and the black raspberry. they were tasty (especially the mango... it tasted exactly like real mangoes) and very light. still, we couldn't finish it.

me wasting precious time taking photos when i could have been eating

our total bill was $42 which is definitely more than you might expect to spend on burgers and a couple drinks, but well worth the price. you could easily have eaten cheaper... a burger alone costs $6.50, and an order of fries is $3.50. it was all the add-ons that raised the price for us.

i totally loved terry's and i can't wait to go back to try more of their awesome menu! you guys should all go as soon as possible. or don't... by the time we left, the place was full. i don't want it to get overrun!

burgerlicious

summer is over but that does not mean you have to stop grilling! for me, grilling is pretty much a year round event. even in the dead of winter (which actually is really not that bad here in cincinnati) i can be found throwing something on the grill every once in a while, as long as it is dry outside. i love grilling and can't give it up.

fall is a perfect time to grill. over the weekend i had a bbq and i made my delicious burgers, which never fail to please a crowd. i actually have never had leftover burgers no matter how many i make... people just keep eating them. if your burger plan has always been to just throw some ground beef patties on the grill, i definitely recommend you try spicing them up a little. especially if you are a cheap bastard like me and just buy that crappy ground chuck in a tube.

liz's world famous burgers

1 lb. ground chuck (85/15 is the best mix in my opinion... you need a little fat in there to keep it juicy)
1/4 large sweet onion, minced
1 egg
the following spices to taste (i am sorry, i have no idea on quantities here):

• lawry's seasoning salt (lots of it)
• worcestershire sauce
• lots of ground black pepper
• dried chili pepper flakes
• dried basil
• garlic powder (again, lots). also good are those dried roasted garlic bits from trader joe's.

throw it all in a bowl and mix it up with your hands. taste the meat (or don't if you are too scared of raw meat/eggs). add more seasonings if necessary (you will probably need more lawry's and more worcestershire sauce at least).

form the meat into balls. i do 1/4 to 1/3 lb. burgers. make sure they are pretty round. throw them on the grill. cook until medium (or however done you like them). only flip them once and please do yourself a favor and resist the urge to flatten the patties with the spatula! this will cause all the juices to run out and you will have sad, dry burgers. :(

if you want cheese, i like cheddar, but it's whatever you want. i like to toast the buns on the grill too. my personal preference is potato rolls, but again do whatever you like. serve with all the normal burger toppings.

you can do this recipe with as much meat as you want. i would not do more than 2 eggs total though, even if you have 4 or 5 lbs. of meat. you don't want the meat to be too wet.

i swear if you make these burgers you will have people worshipping the ground you walk on.

speaking of burgers, is the fatburger on madison open yet? i can't wait to try them!

playing catch up (ketchup?)

ok so my life has been insane lately. i went through this whole thing where i was all crabby because i was like "my life is so boring." think back, if you will, to oh say maybe march 25, 2008. yeah. anyway, so what happened is the same old shit that always happens... soon enough my life suddenly got way too ridiculous way too fast. i haven't had a moment to think in like a month. basically every aspect of my life has been turned completely upside down.

i have been through the widest spectrum of emotions in the past month or so that i can remember in recent history (and possibly ever). i have made new friends, lost old friends, completely redefined existing relationships, and had more than a few ghosts from my past march back into my life. people have gotten sick and other people have gotten better. i have gotten sick and then better. work is insane. i have done countless things i would never have even considered doing before, sometimes because i had to and sometimes because i just felt like it, and did not even think twice. i feel like i am a completely different person and i am not even sure who that person is. i know it is obnoxious (not to mention super drama queenish) to write shit like that and then not tell you specifics, but this is my blog dammit and i am sorry but you are just going to have to deal with it.

today beth t. and i went camping and it started pouring and we didn't have a rain tarp. we were sitting there in the car waiting for it to stop raining and it didn't so we finally just gave up and went home (we were only about an hour away). now it is saturday night and i am sitting here on my couch in my underwear, drinking warm beer and watching 48 hours mystery, and thinking to myself "my life is so boring." dammit, when will i learn?

if only i had cable this whole annoying self-reflective scenario could be avoided. there's nothing like a flavor of love marathon to save me (and you) from myself. anyway, to make up for my lack of posts, i'm going to do a couple mini reviews for you guys to keep you happy.

nuvo (in florence, ky): somewhat creative but not really all that good food, tiny portions, overpriced, weird ass decor (it's a "renovated" pizza hut), annoyingly over the top service (it's florence y'all for fuck's sake). don't go there.

greenup st. cafe: ok food, great atmosphere (especially the garden), laid back service, good prices... and they actually know how to make iced coffee. go there.

lavomatic: still horrifically bad service and still hit or miss food; however, great patio. go there at your own risk.

(note to jean robert: i'm so over you)

arthur's (in hyde park): $6 burgers on sun-tues nights, awesome garden, who cares about the service, good beer selection. definitely go there.

financial update: so i thought my economic stimulus check got deposited back in late april, when $600 showed up suddenly in my checking account. well on like wednesday of last week i randomly got a $600 check from the US treasury. "eureka!" i exclaimed. "it came twice!" i wanted to run to the bank to deposit it immediately before the feds caught on. however, after a little sleuthing i realized i had actually just transferred $600 from my savings to my checking on that fateful april day and then had instantly forgotten that i had done that. so it turns out i didn't get economically stimulated twice after all. still, i am able to pay rent this month. yay!

anyway, moral of the story (aka why you should care): my biannual financial crisis was narrowly averted thanks to george w. so now i can continue to eat out to my heart's content until early december, when i will once more freak out and start consuming a diet consisting solely of ramen and bananas until january 1 rolls around.

maribelle's tavern

i should not be writing this post because i do not want you to go to this restaurant. why? because it small and secret and hidden and i want to keep it that way! i love this place and i am scared it will get overrun. as it is we had to wait for a table on a tuesday night!

maribelle's is a small, adorable renovated house down on riverside aka eastern ave. the vibe is relaxed but more upscale than just a bar. hardwood floors, open windows, white walls, outdoor patio with umbrellas and flowers. it is a great place to hang out, but i especially recommend (loathingly) that you go there on tuesday nights, when they offer the "burger jackpot." you get a burger with 3 toppings (such as grilled onions, cole slaw, bbq sauce, bacon, a variety of cheeses, etc.) and any side you want. all of this for SIX DOLLARS! on top of all this, you can sit outside and drink a delicious beer or mixed drink (they make excellent margaritas... none of that frozen slush mix shit here) and gaze at the river and just relax your evening away.

this place is so good that everyone i know loves it. vuka is already planning to have her birthday party here... and her birthday is in december. as if all of the above were not enough, maribelle's serves brunch! i have not tried it yet, but you know i will be there soon.

the service is great. they have a good variety of food items: sandwiches (some grilled), burgers, salads, fish and chips (sooo yummy), etc. it is all food you have had before, but maribelle's does it just a little bit better than everyone else. the seasonings and flavors are just more complex, bright, and interesting than at many other places. the prices are low. there is truly nothing to complain about except maybe for parking, and that is only a problem if this place gets too popular, and anyway it is nice out now so who minds a little walking?

so anyway, i totally do not recommend that you ever go to maribelle's because i want to keep this place to myself.

it's a sad day for reuben lovers

i love reubens. i realize this is not a topic that has come up on this blog yet, but just fyi, i think the reuben is one of the best sandwiches out there. and of all the reubens in the world, courtyard cafe's was the best.

please notice that i said WAS. i am so distraught... i went there for dinner last night with some friends and they no longer serve a reuben!!! i do not even know what to do with myself. i harassed the waiter but got no answers. courtyard cafe, how could you do this to me?

now don't get me wrong, this is no reason to stop going there. they still have awesome food (i love their burgers, coleslaw, and chicken salad with celery seed dressing). they still have low prices. they still have good service and good beer and a fun atmosphere and a nice patio. nothing else has changed.

however, i am heartbroken over the loss of my ultimate top reuben of all time. i have to go cry now.