summer dinner, winter night

it's a monday. i don't know any other way to explain my crabby mood all day. i did everything i could to avoid being in a bad mood. i got to work by 9:00 (a minor miracle, particularly on a monday). i drank coffee. i took a break for lunch. i returned phone calls. i got through my (hypothetical) to do list.

nothing bad happened. i didn't have any long, agonizing meetings. i didn't have any short meetings either. nobody annoying called or emailed me. the one person i had to give bad news to took it well. i didn't waste too much time on facebook.

still, by the end of the day i was a total crab and i really had no reason for it. at about 4:45, i realized it was really warm out and for me that means one thing... grilling! i immediately started craving a burger. but not just any burger... a big huge giant juicy cheeseburger. with guacamole. yum.

i made a quick stop at the grocery store where i snacked on pastries, ranch dip, and manchego cheese that they had conveniently put out to get my blood sugar and me through the trip without yelling at anyone or having a nervous breakdown over reaching my social interaction limit for the day.

finally i got home and made myself the burger of my dreams. readers, i have a gift, and that gift is burgers. i truly believe that i make the best burgers of all time. i love me some terry's, but i love me some liz's even more. if i regularly kept goat cheese and chardonnay mushroom sauce and lump crab meat and bearnaise sauce sitting around my house, i would probably never eat another burger out again. unless i was lazy.

sorry it's blurry... i was hungry and delirious (and crabby)

i wish i could give you a specific recipe for my burgers, but i am simply a channel through which burger magic flows from the heavens above into the ground beef in my kitchen. i throw in a bunch of shit, make it into a ball (always a ball... my burgers always tend to end up looking like meatballs), throw it on the grill, flip it, and... mmmmmmmmmm... so instead of a recipe, i give you:

liz's basic rules of burgers

1. fat is important. do not use the leanest meat possible. i like 85/15. what is that, chuck?
2. no utensils in the beef. use your hands only!
3. ahh, ingredients...
a. absolute essentials: one egg per pound of meat, minced onions, worcestershire sauce, a very generous dumping of lawry's seasoning salt.
b. optional (you need to use some combination of these though, it really doesn't matter what): crushed chili flakes, garlic powder, adobo seasoning, dried basil, dried oregano, cinnamon, allspice.
4. taste your meat. my burgers are not for the faint of heart. you must taste the meat raw to see if you need to adjust seasonings. sorry food hygiene freaks.
5. do not overmix your meat.
6. juiciness is important. do not overcook your burgers. 4 minutes per side should be plenty for a large burger, 2-3 minutes per side if they are smaller.
7. form meat into balls. grill. top with cheese (i prefer muenster or sharp cheddar) for the last minute of cooking. eat.

to go with my burgers, i made up a salad. i blanched some green beans. while they were blanching and then chilling, i mixed a sliced shallot, a minced clove of garlic, and a couple handfuls of halved grape tomatoes with salt, pepper, lemon juice, tarragon vinegar, and olive oil. then i tossed in the green beans and some cilantro. zesty, tangy, and crunchy. the perfect complement to a giant cheese and guacamole covered hunk-o-meat.

yes, that is a half pound burger. yes, i ate the whole thing. yes, it was that kind of day. (note to my mom, who reads my blog: don't freak out. i don't eat like this every day!)

re: the guacamole, i totally cheated. the avocadoes at the grocery store were rock hard so i just bought one of those packages that they have in the produce section. not the tubs but the kind in the packets in a cardboard box. i mixed in some lime juice, onion, and cilantro to freshen it up.

while i cooked, i snacked on some olives and drank a corona. no comments from the peanut gallery on my beer selection. anyway, by the time i bit into my ridiculously large and delicious burger, the day was melting away. at the end of the meal i had drifted into a zen like state... or as close as you can get on a monday night.