i have been reflecting a lot on my time in cincinnati (seven and a half years). i will miss it so much, even though i am really looking forward to being back in michigan. in honor of the transition, here are 20 things i learned while living in cincinnati. this is by no means an exhaustive list, just things that seemed relevant to me at the moment i was writing this post.
1. the people you think are your friends might not be your friends, and the people you think aren't your friends might be your friends. the best way to know which is which is to figure out what your objective definition of friendship is and then apply the definition to every friendship in your life and see which ones pass the test. you will probably be surprised at the results.
2. if a west sider says you are like a west sider, this is the highest compliment they could possibly give you.
3. most people are only in your life for a limited period of time, and most friends do not last forever, and this is a fine and good thing as long as you are continually bringing new people into your life.
3a. (for liz and jenny) you can never have enough friends!
4. there is maybe nothing that says more about a person's character than how they treat the people who are below them on the totem pole in any given situation (ie: assistants, children, secretaries, customer service representatives, wait staff, homeless people, etc.)
5. most lawyers are assholes. the ones who aren't are truly quality human beings.
6. religion is not that scary after all, although i still don't want it for myself.
7. children are not that scary after all, although i still don't want them for myself.
8. the nonprofit world is just as fucked up as the for profit world, if not more so.
9. having a lot of money, even for just a short period of time, is really fucking fun.
10. the only way to move past rock bottom is to hit rock bottom.
11. the most important thing you can do for yourself as a person is to take full, complete, and total responsibility for your own life and your own happiness.
12. the second most important thing you can do for yourself as a person is to set boundaries and enforce them ruthlessly.
13. who people are is more important than what they believe, which is actually not really that important at all.
14. it is just a lot less stressful to be ok with being wrong than to not be ok with being wrong. bonus: people will like you more if you are ok with being wrong.
15. performing on a stage in front of an audience is amazing and probably my life calling.
16. nobody, and i mean absolutely nobody, is thinking about anything other than themselves. i don't mean this in a judgmental way. i am writing this post and all i am thinking about is myself. what i mean is that when you think you sound stupid or look ugly or that people are judging you, you are 100% across the board wrong. everyone else is only thinking about themselves. they do not give a shit about you. again, this isn't a bad thing (or a good thing). it's just a fact, and the sooner you accept it the better your life will be.
17. drugs and therapy is the solution to everything, including world peace.
18. the more things you like, the more fun you will have. the more things you don't like, the less fun you will have. so in order to have the most fun, you should try to like as many things as possible and dislike as few things as possible.
19. being nice will get you a hundred times further in life than being an asshole in pretty much any situation. and in the few situations that it won't, it's probably just not worth it once you do the cost benefit analysis of getting what you want vs. the risk to your mental and emotional health. this rule does not apply to situations in which your values or civil rights are at risk. or actually it does, because those are the situations in which the cost to your mental and emotional health would be too great.
20. doing what you think is right is more important than doing what you think will make people like you. and doing what you think will make people like you will only make people hate you. doing what you think is right will also make people hate you, but at least you will not hate you.
peace out, cinci! xoxo, mark and liz
those are my final deep thoughts for you, cincinnati. good luck with the streetcar!
2 comments:
I've never posted before, but have enjoyed your blog for several years.
Good luck in Michigan. Definitely a loss for Cincy.
Well said! We'll miss you in cincy!
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