DiZnEyLaNd RuLeZ

actually i have no idea. i have not (yet) been there. right now i am in anaheim for a conference and all i have to say is i am never. having. children. right now, from my 9th floor balcony, i can hear a child screaming over and over in the pool. the child is not hurt. the child is not in danger. the child is lounging in the lap of luxury at a beautiful resort in southern california. and the child is screaming because that is what children do.

last night carla and i had dinner and drinks in "downtown disney" which is basically a consumer's paradise of stores, restaurants, and hordes of screaming children right outside the entrance to disneyland. we went into the disney store for some god awful reason and proceeded to spend, between the two of us, over $100 on unnecessary gifts which were probably made by 3 year old cambodian children being clubbed by baby seals and paid $1 per week for our friends and family, who will probably throw away the gifts within five minutes and then complain that they did not get a postcard.

while i was waiting in line (for a half hour) to spend money that i don't have in this nightmarishly happy den of dirty capitalism, i observed the three children in front of me with their mom. they were 3 boys, all between about 7 and 12. they were SCREAMING because mom told them, "you each get to pick one toy today." apparently these kids get to pick one toy each for every day they are in disneyland. and they were pissed. they wanted TWO $20 stuffed animals each. and this family did not have money. but the kids needed MORE. i was proud of mom, who did not cave, but i also was happy i did not have to live her life because then i would have had to kill myself.

let me repeat, i am never. having. children.