getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries, at ease, eating well (no more microwave dinners and saturated fats)

i am in a blah mood. in fact i am so blah that i can't even think of an interesting way to write this blog. i'm not depressed. i'm just bored with my life. today i got into a long conversation with my work friend beth which can be summed up as: "what is the point of life." we go to work, we go home, we go to the gym, we eat, we sleep, wash rinse repeat. it's not that i really miss being in school, but i do miss the fun and socializing and the unexpectedness of my days before i became A Professional. as beth said, "we spent years in school working to get to this point, and now we get here and we're like, is this all there is?"

i am not by nature someone who likes stability or predictability or repetition. i don't plan my life (maybe that's how i got to this point?). i just do whatever comes my way and i like it. however, responsibilities and debts have gotten in the way and now i am stuck in an office job. an interesting and challenging and important office job, but an office job nonetheless. not a 9-to-5 but more like a 9-to-8. bleah.

i was seeking excitement and entertainment and by the time i got home at 8:30, the only thing i really had energy for was a short trip through the nearest cookbook to look for fast, delicious ideas for the things i had sitting around in my kitchen (a trip to the grocery store was out of the question). my growling stomach quickly overpowered my ability to focus on written words and i was forced to forge ahead, alone, on a quest for a satisfying meal with only my senses to guide me. time was limited as hunger encroached...

i threw open my fridge and took stock of my options. some leftover smoked salmon, a lemon, a half used jar of capers. i had a few grape tomatoes and a clove of garlic in my hanging basket. i grabbed a few basil leaves and chives from the plants which somehow never died over the winter in my sun room. some staples: olive oil, freshly ground salt and pepper, thick spaghetti. the forces of hunger and boredom were conquered... i created a meal!

i am just now noticing that i was reading an article about noodles while eating noodles

while the pasta was cooking, and before it got tossed together with the tomatoes, salmon, herbs, garlic, oil, and lemon juice, i nibbled on a forgotten bit of manchego cheese (not yet moldy) from my fridge and sipped some wine. ahhhh, weeknight quarterlife crisis bliss. some more wine, a movie, and a bath, and i will forget all my cares... until tomorrow...