zingerman's delicatessen

i'm sorry new york but the best deli i have ever been to in my life is in ann arbor, michigan. if you have ever been anywhere near the metro detroit area, odds are you have heard of zingerman's. it started off as a deli specializing in i guess just the best of everything. then it grew and grew and now it is this cluster of gastronomic deliciousness... there's a creamery, a bakery, a roadhouse, a coffee company, and a big mail order business.

if you just stopped here and never ate anywhere else again, you would die happy

this may sound like a recipe for disaster but let me tell you that i have literally never eaten anything that was not amazing from anywhere zingerman's. when i was younger, my family would take occasional trips to ann arbor and we always stopped at zingerman's for sandwiches, soup, and of course the crazy good pickles ("new" or "old").

when i went away to college i would make my friends drive to ann arbor on road trips just to eat at zingerman's. in the past year or so i've had to go to ann arbor a few times for work and i have rallied up posses of coworkers to nosh their way to sandwich heaven. i love this deli and so does everyone i know who has ever eaten there (and that is a lot of people since i have dragged practically everyone i have ever met there at some point).

goal in life #281: eat everything pictured in this photo before i die

the basic premise of zingerman's is simple... provide the absolute best of every food item they serve. if this means scouring the globe, even better. and on top of providing you with the most delicious array of food items available, the service kicks ass. it's like the staff just loves working there and can't help being happy just to be at zingerman's. i know that sounds cheesy but that is what i tell myself anyway. but seriously, if i worked there, i would be damn happy.

for me, zingerman's is all about the sandwiches and the pickles. that's what i go for. they have a huge menu (maybe 100 sandwiches at any given time?) which constantly rotates. of course, there are a number of old favorites which have been on the menu as long as i can remember. but there are also quite a few new choices every time i go.

i think these people might love cheese even more than i do

like any good deli, they offer all kinds of delicious sides (matzo ball soup, salads, latkes, etc.). they also have a full deli with every kind of meat and cheese imaginable, a bakery with chewy/tasty/delicious bread, a mind boggling variety of the best olive oils you have ever tasted, yummy sodas and coffees, and a spread of desserts including cakes, pies, gelato, cheesecakes, and cookies. and probably a ton of other things that i can't remember.

like i said, i always love eating at zingerman's and have never been disappointed. but on monday, during my most recent trip there, the heavens parted and the angels sang. it was as if zingerman's had chosen january 5, 2009, as the day of liz. readers, let me be the first to tell you... zingerman's, the best deli in the world, now serves a cuban, the best sandwich in the world. i thought i had died and gone to food heaven, until i realized that if i was truly dead i would probably be in hell and there ain't no cubans there (at least no cuban sandwiches anyway). here is the description: "#00 D-$'s Cuban Conundrum Cuban-style pulled pork, Arkansas peppered ham, Switzerland Swiss cheese, old-fashioned dill pickles, mayo & hot mustard on a grilled paesano roll."

best cuban in the US competition winner: ann arbor. runner up: miami

well since my soul is going to rot once i'm done on this planet anyway, i may as well live it up now. i ordered that cuban and a new pickle and i ate it like it was my last meal on earth. oh my god. soooo good. my sister got: "#57 Nic's Opportunity Zingerman's handmade fresh mozzarella, thinly sliced pepperoni, oven-dried tomato spread, oregano, & balsamic vinaigrette on grilled Sicilian sesame semolina." silly me, i let her try my cuban and she was hooked. so i agreed to trade sammies with her halfway through. if that doesn't get me a one way ticket to eternity with jesus, i don't know what will.

my mom is on a low carb kick so she opted for: "Mediterranean Experience Homemade hummus, barrel-aged marinated Greek feta, Spanish piquillo peppers, Italian artichokes, kalamata olives, oven-dried tomatoes & cucumbers." all this plus a big hunk of crusty bread. she chowed it down so fast that i did not even get a chance to taste it.

i'll take "things liz would sell her soul for" for $200, alex

we were so full at the end of the meal that we wanted a nap. i still had a 4 hour drive back to cincinnati ahead of me, so i recharged with some tasty zingerman's blend coffee. i had never had this before and it was excellent. we drooled at the desserts but didn't have room. ahh zingerman's... you never let me down.

bus ride from astoria to la guardia airport: $2
checking a piece of luggage on northwest airlines: $15
flight from LGA to DTW: $180
traveling 600 miles away from new york to eat at the best deli in the world: priceless

highland coffee house

how have i lived in cincinnati for two and a half years and i just went to highland coffee house for the first time? i am in love! this place has everything i have been searching for in a coffee shop.

it is quiet but not too quiet (there is good music playing), it is open late, it serves beer as well as coffee, it has some food available, and it is totally cute. the bartender/barista last night was really nice and helpful and kept walking around with more coffee for people who were drinking it (i can't have caffeine after 4 pm so i stuck to beer).

the best part is that the people there seemed to be both much more diverse and overall much older and more laid back than the crowd at sitwell's (which is another place i really like, but i do find to sometimes be overrun by loud high schoolers). there were a number of people who looked like professors sitting with piles of papers and laptops. there was an old black guy and a young white guy playing chess and discussing the meaning of life. there was a group of kids playing board games with what looked like their dad and then a couple other random grad student looking coffee shop patrons. there were quite a few people there alone. almost everyone had brought books with them.

another great thing about highland: their hours. they are open every day from 5 pm to 2:30 am. the bartender told me that occasionally they close early if there is no one there, but they consider themselves the place to go when all the other coffee shops close. i love this because i am always getting annoyed when coffee shops close on me. cincinnati is weird like that, i have never lived in a city before where the normal coffee shop closing time is like 7 pm. so i am glad to find a place that is open late.

the atmosphere is also great. it is in an old house and has wood floors, plants, dim lighting, and interesting/crappy art on the walls. there is also an outdoor patio which was full last night despite the chilly temperature.

i did not try the food or even look at the menu, but they do have it in case you need something to snack on. they also have a bunch of board games available. everyone was really friendly to each other and i even saw one guy randomly walk by an empty table where the person had left their bookbag and book and he just picked up the book, browsed through it, and set it back down. so i am sure you could find a book to borrow if you wanted. they also have free wireless.

basically i love everything about this place and i am so happy to have discovered it. i recommend that you go there immediately for all your late night coffee shop needs.

red (and awakenings)

last night, brian called to see if i wanted to join in on his "i'm going to alaska next week, suckers" dinner. now who could resist that? so i wandered over to hyde park square for a dinner at red with brian, patricia, and gary.

patricia and i stopped at awakenings first for some coffee since we were both about to pass out. awakenings has recently redone their baked goods section and have a glass case full of delicious looking treats from frieda's, which i think is a local caterer or baker or something. the treats look awesome... adorable little tarts and cakes in pretty colors and exciting flavors.

patricia wanted a little chocolate cake but there was only one left and she didn't want to ruin her dinner, so they actually reserved it for her. i am not kidding. the dude put a little "reserved" sign next to it! i love awakenings.

on to dinner... basically don't go to red is what i have to say. first of all, the interior annoys me. i know this is stupid but i just got annoyed by all the red. plus it felt like we were in a cave. it was a beautiful night and i was stuck in a dark red hole.

on to my next bitch. the service sucked. this is probably what really caused me the most annoyance. our waiter was david and basically david's goal in life seemed to be to perfect the art of being both pushy and inaccessible. he started off by asking if, for our "water order," we wanted pellegrino or panna or some shit. he went on for a while until i was like "we just want tap." he's like "oh." i think it was then that he realized we were the jeans/tshirt/flip flop crowd. (the rest of the people in the place were weird ass "i am so rich and pretentious but i look like hell and i'm trying to pretend i'm 10 years younger than i actually am" types.) still, it's not that we were being cheap. we just wanted tap water and anyway a "water order" is a tacky ploy to try to get a bigger tip.

well then patricia, brian, and i ordered drinks. gary said he just wanted water. then david started to kind of bully him, in a "nice" way. "are you sure? come on. you know you want something else." dude. he wants water. leave him alone.

david then left and a few minutes later another guy, who i can only guess was a water boy, asked us for our "water preference." please note the strange focus on water, this is going to be important later.

well then we began to peruse the menu. red is expensive. i know this is dumb but i always get annoyed when i go to expensive restaurants in cincinnati because in my experience thus far, it's just never that good that it's worth it. i am sorry, i know i sound obnoxious, but the best places i've been to here are in the $10-20 for an entree range. so when i find out that you are serving a $40 steak a la carte, i just feel annoyed. there is no reason for that kind of prices in this city.

the drinks were blah. brian really liked his dirty martini and said they have great martinis in general there (he had been before for drinks). patricia and i were disappointed with the raspberry mojitos, which as patricia said tasted like raspberry sodas. yes, there were fresh raspberries. however, there was like one mint sprig and a lime wedge. NOT a good mojito, and that was really annoying since it was $9.

on to the food. patricia and i shared the portuguese cioppino. we got appetizers: patricia had oysters and i had diver scallops. brian ordered the steak and crabcake, and gary went all out and ordered the $67 "steak red," which was described on the menu as:

"7-ounce, center-cut filet mignon with a half-pound of cold water,
butter poached lobster tail, asparagus and mushroom risotto..."

ok. so i saw this on the menu and i stopped reading after the first line. i was like "a half pound of cold water??? what the fuck???" after all the water obsession i just thought like maybe there was some crazy hyde park pseudo elite thing with water or something. well then they all started laughing their asses off at me and brian explained that the cold water meant "cold water lobster." oh. i am an idiot but this provided us with much entertainment for the rest of the night.

the food came and it was pretty good. my scallops were nice and rare (ie- not overcooked), but i was a little disappointed that they were not pan seared, and i kind of think it's just a waste to serve diver scallops that aren't pan seared. they came with some weird mayonnaise covered watercress and some bland mango slices, and the plate had some kind of oil drizzled on it.

the portuguese cioppino was just ok. the seafood in it was very fresh and delicious (shrimp and mussels) except for the squid, which was tough and overcooked. there was sausage in it which added flavor to the otherwise very bland broth (pretty much just chicken broth and tomatoes). this was extra disappointing to me because a few months ago i had the best cioppino of my life at rj snapper's in columbus and i think my hopes were too high. but still, cioppino is supposed to be spicy and zesty and this was neither.

also, when our food first came david brought us chicken instead of cioppino and when i complained he was like "what? i thought you said chicken melango" when i KNOW he heard me because when i ordered the cioppino he was all like "what? you want the CHEE-oppino?" and i got annoyed that he mispronounced it and then acted like i was the one who mispronounced it. dumbass.

gary's "steak red" was very delicious and the lobster tail that he got was excellent. i am not a huge lobster person, i usually prefer crab, but this lobster tail was sweet and tender and delicious. the best i've ever had for sure. brian's food looked good but i didn't taste it since i was starting to get a stomach ache. he liked it though.

oh yeah, before our meal david brought us some little puff pastry with truffle something or other. it seemed very nice until he informed us "the chef does this for everyone." way to make a girl feel special. asshole.

at one point in the meal, brian said, "i think i hate our waiter." gary was like "i thought he was ok at first but now i hate him more and more as the minutes tick by." the thing is, the rest of the servers/water boys/bread boys/whatever the fuck were very nice and friendly. i think david was just a jerk. plus he kept calling brian "my buddy" and "my man." what the fuck?

after we finished our meal, we waited a while and then david threw dessert menus at us and disappeared for like a half an hour (i am not exaggerating). i was really getting annoyed by this point because i had a bad stomach ache, i think from all the rich food, and i was really tired. finally he came back, harassed us over our decision not to order dessert, and disappeared for another 15 minutes, when he came back with the bill, which he fucked up by putting the chicken melango on instead of the cioppino. then it took him another 15 minutes to fix it.

at this point i just had had enough and i was totally pissy. it was not entirely red's fault, i was tired and i felt like crap and i had gotten a phone call earlier in the day that had kind of dampened my mood. but david sucked and the place was full of stick up the ass jerks (example: in the bathroom this girl stared at my flip flops and gave me the evil eye) and everything was overpriced.

basically it was like cumin all over again: way inflated prices, bland and disappointing food, and overall way too much pretentious bullshit. i know i'm going to sound totally obnoxious here but i feel like cincinnati just doesn't get upscale dining. i mean, i am more than willing to occasionally throw down $100+ for a really awesome dining experience. however, too many restaurants here seem to think that they keys to such an experience are snobbery, truffle oil, and butter. unfortunately it seems that their diners agree. bleah. i'm not going back.

kitty's coffee

GO HERE! they make cold brewed iced coffee!!! (see 8/12/07 post) plus the guy who works there is super nice. he did not get weirded out by my panic-attack-of-joy over his cold brewed offerings. we shared a moment. who am i kidding, he took my money and laughed at me after i left.

iced coffee and other bitching re: brunch related food items

ok, i know i constantly complain about this but why the hell does cincinnati not know how to make iced coffee??? well that is not true exactly, you can usually get a pretty good one at coffee shops (but don't expect sugar syrup, they look at you like you're crazy). but any time you go to a restaurant they are like "well... we can put ice in the coffee if you want..."

ok. when you order an iced tea, do you expect them to brew some nice piping hot earl grey and then throw some ice in it so that when it arrives it is lukewarm, watery dish water? no. you do not. the same principle applies to iced coffee.

when i order iced coffee, i expect it to be prepared in one of 3 ways (in order of my preference):
-cold brewed
-hot brewed coffee which has been chilled in the fridge prior to being served over ice
-hot brewed espresso which is mixed with cold water (americano style) and then served over ice

it is not that hard. i do not understand what the problem is. cincinnati is hot as hell in the summer. if anyone around here had actually ever had a decent iced coffee, they would never turn back.

on to my next bitch: bagels. again, i know i complain about this all the time, but i can't stand bagels around here. if you ask a cincinnatian where to get good bagels, 9 out of 10 will say "bruegger's." BRUEGGER'S. give me a fucking break!

the other 10% of the population will tell you "marx bagels." now these people are right, marx bagels are delicious. however, marx bagels is located in blue ash. (note: you can also get marx bagels at wild oats in rookwood). but anyway not that convenient.

if you are going out to eat and want an awesome lox and bagels, i recommend honey's brunch. they make their own lox and it's insanely good. they also fly in their bagels from NY which many people tell me is ridiculous but it is not. yes, this is a $9 lox and bagels, but well worth it for the culinary satisfaction it provides.

bitch #3: why the hell don't they do saturday brunch here???