jeff ruby's waterfront

my friend, let's call her helga, who wishes to remain anonymous for obvious reasons, is a mystery shopper. this means that she secretly goes to restaurants or movie theaters, writes reviews, and then gets cash money in exchange for her feedback to cover the cost of the meal or movie. this sounds like a great gig and i got really excited when she told me about it so she invited me along over the weekend to see what it's like.

the destination? jeff ruby's waterfront. the budget? $250. if you have spent even five seconds of your life reading this blog you know there is no way i could turn this down, especially since i had never been to a jeff ruby's restaurant before.

yes you are probably going to have a "where the hell am i?" moment

before we got to the restaurant, helga explained to me how this works. she has certain things she has to pay attention to (servers' and hosts' appearances, wait times, whether our napkins get folded when we go to the bathroom, quality and appearance of food, whether the decor is clean and in good condition, etc.). in order to keep track of all this, she texts herself during the meal. she also needs her dinner companions to help her pay attention to things. and of course you are not allowed to say things like "i'll take the expensive water, i'm not paying!" when ordering. my favorite part? "order whatever you want and don't even look at prices."

for this meal, helga was supposed to order at least one appetizer, two entrees, and at least one dessert. clearly i had no problem with this. we got in, sat down, and began perusing the menu. eventually we decided on the following absurd lineup of gluttony:

• king crab legs
• oysters (kumamotos and i can't remember what the other one was)
• wood grilled shrimp flatbread
  
• heirloom tomato, fresh mozzarella, and basil salad
• "the freddie" salad (romaine lettuce, tomatoes, bacon, and ranch dressing)
• center cut new york strip steak (dry aged 28 days) with peppercorn demi glace
  
• french cut lamb chops with garlic and rosemary rub and fresh mint jelly
• "mac daddy and cheese" aka four cheeses with cavatappi
• lobster mashed potatoes
• strawberry crepes
• pistachio ice cream on a graham cracker crust dipped in milk chocolate
  
• three glasses of wine
• a cappuccino
  

i'll stop here to let you just soak that all in.

soak.

soak.

soak.

yeah it was really over the top actually, but nevertheless awesome. first let's start with the seafood. the crab legs were sweet, fresh, huge, and tender. the meat fell right out of the shell. there was a really yummy mustard dipping sauce. it was delicious.

our seafood

the oysters. oh oysters, you are the yin to my yang. the peanut butter to my jelly. the peas to my carrots. ok enough stupid metaphors. but really i literally do not know how i lived prior to july 30, 2009 (aka the day i learned to love oysters). these oysters were really damn good for being in cincinnati. i know i do not have the oyster experience that many of you do, but i was one happy oyster eater. the kumamotos especially were amazing. the other one was good but did not blow me away. but the kumamoto was sweet and creamy and plump and flavorful. the hot, fresh horseradish put it over the edge. yummmm...

shrimp flatbread

the shrimp flatbread was eh. not bad but don't waste your stomach space. there was nothing memorable about it. i will use this space to instead talk about the bread and butter. they served us delicious hot french bread and salted rye (from servatii's! it is awesome) with regular butter and... wait for it... truffle butter. this is probably a jeff ruby's staple but having never been there before i was delighted with this little surprise.

heirloom tomato and mozzarella salad

on to the salads. helga ordered the tomatoes and they were fresh and wonderful and tasted like summer. the mozzarella was creamy and cool. the balsamic glaze was thick, mellow, and sweet. i liked it but i really loved my salad. there is just no way that you can go wrong with bacon and ranch. and this was like the best bacon and ranch ever. i also made the pepper boy put like 20 twists of pepper on my salad so it was really spicy and yummy. crunchy lettuce, soft delicious tomatoes, salty bacon, all floating in the best ranch ever. i loved this salad.

the freddie

now the meats. i grilled the waiter on the differences between steaks. he recommended the oscar which is a filet mignon with crab, bearnaise, and who knows what else on top, but i am just not a big filet mignon fan so i went with the new york strip (which was dry aged and i had never tried that before). it was everything i dreamed it could be and more.

the dry aged new york strip

i got the sauce on the side just to taste it, and it was yummy but actually i don't know if i would get it again, or maybe i would get something else (like garlic butter... mmmm...). the steak itself though was totally delicious and juicy and one of the best steaks i have ever had. also it was cooked to an absolutely perfect medium rare.

lamb chops

helga's lamb chops were delicious. tender, juicy, flavorful. the mint jelly was interesting, neither of us had ever tried that before but we thought the flavor complemented the lamb. the jelly had lots of bits of fresh mint in it and was very tasty. for me, i would probably not order this because although it was interesting and prepared really well, i just was not a huge fan of the whole mint jelly thing. and the lamb chops were excellent but i think jeff ruby's = steak.

the mac daddy

on to the sides. i am currently having cold sweats and my body is shaking. i can't sleep or eat or breathe. yes, i am in full on mac daddy withdrawal. it was the best fucking macaroni and cheese of my life. how is it possible that a steakhouse can make macaroni and cheese that good? i have no idea, but they did it. the pasta was still slightly al dente somehow and the cheeses were melty and rich. there was a thick crust of melted cheese and breadcrumbs on the top, and the whole thing was in a casserole dish that had been baked. macaroni awesomeness.

lobster mashed potatoes

i was not wowed by the lobster mashed potatoes. there was one chunk of lobster, and while it was delicious, it was not enough. also, the mashed potatoes were totally pureed and really did not have much flavor. it was like baby food potatoes. i do not like super smooth mashed potatoes so maybe that was my problem. i would not order this again.

strawberry crepes

desserts. the strawberry crepes were, for me, pretty much a bust. the crepes were thick and cold and chewy. the strawberries were good but there were not enough of them. the ice cream on it was good. don't waste your money on this though. get the pistachio ice cream thing (i can't remember what it was called). the waiter even told us to order this and he was right. it was so delicious. the ice cream was creamy and wonderful, and the chocolate on top was so rich and sweet and delicious. it was a perfect combination. the graham cracker crust did nothing for me but it did not detract either.

the pistachio ice cream and chocolate thing

wines were excellent also. we just asked the waitress (we had multiple servers and i could not keep track of who was what) for recommendations and they were great. i'm not a really picky wine person though and i am sure everything on their wine list is good. helga had a pinot noir and i had a malbec and we were happy.

the damage? $211. the perfect amount because you add on tip and we are right at $250. some of the prices really surprised me, for example my glass of wine was only $8.25, and the oysters were only $1.75 each. the steak was $34.50 and it comes with salad and a baked potato (extra to add the other sides) so you could totally have gotten a steak and a beer and gotten out of there for $50.

the sushi and oyster bar

service was mostly really good. my one complaint is that the male server seemed kind of slightly bothered by all my questions. like when i was asking about the steaks, he was like "they are all good." and when i was like "tell me about the jeff ruby's jewel" he was like "it's good. you should order that." ok guy but like i want some more detail. also when we wanted to know about desserts, he would like tell us one and be like "you should get that one." that's fine but just tell us about all of them first.

i am not capable of deciding things until i know all of my options (even then my decision making abilities are limited at best). but like he would kind of tell us something, look around like he was super busy, and try to get out of the conversation quickly. i know he was probably busy but seriously we were shelling out $250. we were not just the get a cheap steak and run crowd. anyway all of the other service was great. but fyi, they did not fold our napkins when we went to the bathroom.

the decor. i know.

the decor. oh the decor. it's straight up 80s miami beach fabulousness. they are not even ashamed or trying to hide it. neon lights, pastels, palm tree print fabrics, the whole thing. it's completely over the top to the point of being ridiculous. and yet somehow you do not mind. it's just funny and adds this really interesting counterpoint to the food almost. also, you have a full wall of windows which look out onto the ohio river, and while it is not the world's most beautiful body of water, it's pretty nice.

i always thought of jeff ruby's waterfront as the redheaded stepchild of jeff ruby's restaurants. i always hear about people going to all the others but i literally have not heard of a single person i know ever going to the waterfront. probably this is because of the distance from cincinnati (why go to covington for jeff ruby's if you live downtown or on the east side?) and also because of the hilarious decor. i know many of the jeff ruby's places are kind of over the top and 80s-ish, but this place seriously takes it to another level.

the view from our table

so why should you go there? well first of all the prices are cheaper for the same menu items here than at other jeff ruby restaurants. compare: jeff ruby's jewel (a dry aged 24 oz. bone in ribeye) is $38.50 here, which includes salad and potato. at the precinct it's $41.50 for that combo. at jeff ruby's downtown it's $44.50 for the steak alone. then there is the parking. it's only $3 for the valet. also the seafood. i am still dreaming about the king crab legs and the kumamotos.

i think a lot of the steaks and sides are similar to other jeff ruby's restaurants so don't go out of your way for variety in terms of that. in fact, it seems like most other places have more steak options. the view is really nice, but i'm not sure it trumps the weird ass neon and pastel thing. but if you like kitsch, you might be really into this place, at least for the entertainment factor. also, i'm thinking this place is probably less crowded than other jeff ruby's restaurants on weekend nights.

walking towards the dining room from the back

the food is mostly excellent, especially the things that you are supposed to go there for (meats and seafoods and things covered in ranch). i seriously enjoyed my meal. i also think that this restaurant (and presumably other jeff ruby's places) is a good deal. if you go to ruth's chris or some shit you are going to spend $50+ a la carte just for your steak. here you can get a full meal for $35, and it is just as good if not better. not that it matters since i don't see a ruth's chris popping up here any time soon.

anyway i really recommend this place, as long as you either a) get your mystery shopper friend helga to take you for a no holds barred free meal where you can taste everything, or b) be selective with your menu choices and stick to the things that they do best. if you do that, you will not be disappointed.

edgecliff bistro

ok, before i write about the edgecliff bistro, can i just say that i found ANOTHER one of those fucking bugs in my house? i know it was not the same one because this one was slightly smaller and darker. i took your tips and decided to spray the shit out of it with bug spray. well that thing would not die. however i did get bug spray all over my brown boots, which made some of the color a little lighter... i think i messed them up. bad idea.

anyway the bug would not die. it started trying to hop but could not get very high (thank the lord) and it kind of flipped over upside down and kicked. i felt bad and began beating it with a shoe. it finally died and the guts did not splatter all over. but that means these monsters are taking over my home. it's me or them and i fear i am not going to win this battle.

what i don't understand is why they are just suddenly showing up now. "well liz," you might say, "it's cold out now. they need a warm place to stay." ok, yes, i agree with you, maybe this is the reason, but i lived in this apartment last winter. why didn't they show up then? god i hate giant bugs.

anyway enough bugs, back to the edgecliff bistro. i went there last night with my new friend heather and thoroughly enjoyed myself. the edgecliff bistro is located inside the edgecliff residences building on victory parkway over by eden park. so if you have never heard of it, that is probably why.

the atmosphere is relaxing. there is a bar when you first walk in, a small dining room, and a big patio with a great view of the river for when it is warm out. on tuesdays (when i was there), they offer half off bottles of wine. also, every day from 5-7, they have half off appetizers.

i was really surprised by this place. it knows exactly what it wants to do and just does it well. the menu is basically upscale american (caesar salad, scallops, steaks, etc.), and prices are about $15-25 for an entree. the place has huge windows all around and i really enjoyed the great view.

we started off with the calamari "fries" which are thick strips of calamari steak, breaded and flash fried, with a spicy remoulade dipping sauce. they were tender, spicy, and delicious.

the bistro offers a special blue plate special type cheap dinner every night which is meant to appeal to the senior citizens crowd who live in the edgecliff. however, i am a cheap ass and the special ($12) was fried chicken which sounded really good. of course i had to order that.

i was really impressed by the attention paid to my meal... i ordered by far the cheapest thing on the menu, meant to cater to older people (who, if you buy into stereotypes, don't always like really spicy or flavorful food), and it was really delicious. the chicken was juicy and crispy, the gravy was spicy, the green beans were crisp, fresh, and garlicky.

the wine list was not too long and had a range of prices from about $30-60. we got an oregon pinot gris for $38 (well only $17 after half off!). it was yummy.

on top of all that, the service was great. it helped that heather lives in the edgecliff so she knew the servers. but they were just really friendly and helpful and i have a feeling i would have gotten just the same treatment even if i came there on my own. someone who seemed manager-ish was walking around making sure you were ok, and he chatted with me as i was leaving about the very short history of the restaurant (it just opened in august).

i don't know a lot about all the restaurant industry gossip around here, it just doesn't interest me that much, but apparently this place is owned by the wades, who are the same people that own some of the jean robert places. so i think you get the same level of attention to the food because of that.

one thing to note: you can park either on the side of the building, or in the little garage under the restaurant (which, when you drive up, seems like you may not be allowed to park there since all the spots are numbered).

i recommend the edgecliff bistro if you are looking for a nice place to relax with a friend and just hang out, or if you are looking for a slightly nicer but not too pricey place to take family. the food is nothing cutting edge by any stretch of the imagination, but it is prepared well, they have some really good deals, and the service kicks ass. and in warm weather the view from the deck would be awesome... just the thing to take your mind off of giant evil jumping bugs from hell.

mccormick and schmick's

i don't normally write about chains, but i had drinks and appetizers at mccormick & schmick's last week and i'm currently running a little short on material so i figured i would write about it. i had actually never been there before, but liberal foodie had a gift certificate so we decided to hit it up.

overall, i was whelmed. is that a word? i was neither over- nor underwhelmed. just whelmed. ummm... this is getting annoying. i guess basically i just thought everything was ok. we tried a number of appetizers (reuben sliders, salmon cakes, fish tacos, mussels, spinach/artichoke dip, calamari, and a few other things i can't remember). everything was just ok. it was prepared fine, but just kind of lacking in flavor i guess.

however, it was super cheap. everything on the happy hour menu is between $1.95 and $4.95. there are also drink specials. i just stuck to wine ($5 for 8 oz.), but there were some holiday themed mixed drinks and beer. after liberal foodie's $20 gift certificate, we only paid $30 total including tip for three of us. and we ate enough to fill us up so we didn't need dinner.

the atmosphere was pretty much what you would expect in a higher-end chain restaurant's bar. lots of dark woods, a few tvs with sports on, dim lights. the service was very attentive and friendly.

if you go here, don't expect to be wowed by the food (at least the food on the bar menu... i can't speak for the lunch/dinner menus). however, if what you want is some cheap food to soak up alcohol and ward off hunger pangs while you hang out with friends downtown after work, mccormick and schmick's definitely does the job.

chalk redux

i know i already posted about chalk but i just want to let you guys know that the food there is still amazing. they have switched over to a fall/winter menu with lots of yummy fall flavors like pumpkin, potatoes, oats, black rice, pancetta, etc. here are some photos to get you hungry. all of this food was awesome and i forgot to take a photo of the menu so i can't remember what all was in each dish. across the board, everything was ridiculously good:

duck (breast)

cow (new york strip)

scallops

pig (pork belly)

everything was, as i said, completely delicious, but the scallops once again were the best of the best. but we truly loved everything. the pork belly melted in my mouth. the steak was perfectly crusted and juicy. the duck quacked happily into my belly. mmmm. we really enjoyed the bottle of avanti pinot noir that we ordered also. the cocktails (pomegranate sidecars and a manhattan) were just ehh... it seemed like they were kind of watered down and had maybe sat in the shaker too long.

this brings me to my main complaint with the meal. once again, something is just not quite right with chalk. last time, it was an ambivalent server and a long wait for a reserved table. this time, it was an extremely long wait for drinks (not even water was available until about a half hour after we sat down, and the mixed drinks did not come until our food did). our server explained that they had run out of water glasses and that the bar was understaffed and not able to keep up with drink orders, but still. it was the day after thanksgiving and a friday night. the restaurant should have been prepared for a crowd.

liz: wait a second you guys so i can take a picture
jim and beth: too bad! we are starving!

there were other small problems too, which added up to a just less than satisfactory dining experience. the fries came out extremely oversalted. our server replaced them but explained that "people just keep coming in and out of the kitchen" so he thought that probably someone had salted them and then someone else had accidentally resalted them. what? shouldn't there only be one person in charge of salting?

our server was really friendly and funny but clearly had too many tables to handle. we sat with empty glasses for a while before he was able to come back for us to order more. when i asked him to help me choose between the pork and the walleye, his answer was "well i just like meat better than fish so i would pick that." that's great, but i would have liked some description. again, i think he was just overly busy, but why not schedule more servers?

avani and i give the food two forks up

urgent breaking news: the duck sloppy joe is no longer on the menu. le sad! our server explained that the chef does not like to keep things on the menu forever because he gets bored. dude. we eaters were not bored! bring back the duck sloppy joe! i don't care if you change everything else but that was amazing and needs to be a menu staple.

in my opinion, chalk continues to serve some of the best and most creative food (for the price) in cincinnati. however, they need to get it together in terms of the other aspects of the restaurant. a 30 minute wait for a glass of water is just not acceptable to me. the entire theme of the night was that i was constantly thirsty and trying to get more to drink and that is just distracting and unpleasant and really takes away from the meal. and it was especially annoying since the food was so damn good... the last thing i wanted was to be distracted from it.

internet anonymity and the return of the flat iron steak

i just got off the phone with liberal foodie, who happens to be an actual, real-life friend of mine who i did not meet on the internet. we were chatting while she was driving home from work and i was killing time while marinating that damn flat iron steak (which i never got around to cooking and had to freeze) in the following marinade (made up based on several internet recipes):

flat iron steak marinade

1/4 c. red wine (i used red zinfandel)
2 T. olive oil
lots of garlic, minced
1 t. rosemary
1 t. Colman's mustard
fresh ground pepper
a little bit of salt

anyway, we got onto the topic of what we will and will not reveal on our blogs. liberal foodie does not want anyone to know her real name or what she looks like. obviously i don't care about that, but i do have a few topics which i consider totally off limits and never talk about on this blog:

liz's taboo topics

• my job
• my specific location in cincinnati
  
• my relationship status
• my family (other than cute pics of them eating cake or sushi)

yes readers, talking about these things on my blog would make me feel overly exposed here on the internet, yet i have no problem keeping you posted with regular updates about my gastrointestinal health.

reader poll: what information is off limits about you on your blog and why?

terry's turf club

readers, i have died and gone to burger heaven! terry's turf club serves without question the absolute best burger i have ever had in cincinnati (other than my own of course). after months of hearing about it from beth and maggie, and reading about it in citybeat and on wine me dine me, i had been dying to go forever. finally today i got my fill of the absolute most delicious burgers you can get in this city.

make sure you are hungry before you walk through this door

first of all i loved the atmosphere. i was all excited about all the neon signs since i just went to the american sign museum. it is very small and cute and on this pretty dead part of eastern ave. right near bella luna. when avani and i got there at 5:45, we were the first people other than a few locals at the bar. we did not know what to drink so we asked our server who recommended the margaritas. they were tasty. fresh squeezed juice and not too sweet.

even if the food tasted like crap i would have enjoyed eating here

we munched on peanuts and perused the menu. "oh my god, lump crab meat!" "whoa, scallop with ginger curry!" "holy shit, a lobster tail sandwich!" "dude, check out the sauces!" (note to vegetarians: they also have a very huge and tasty looking portobello mushroom available). it was clear we were newbies so our waitress came to the rescue again. she asked us some questions about what we liked:

waitress: well this is your first time here so you have to have the burger. do you guys like burgers?
me: oh yes.
waitress: so do you guys like goat cheese, or bacon, or grilled onions?
avani: umm... yes, yes, and yes.
waitress: what about sauce? what sauces sound good?
me: all of them.

in the end, with the guidance of our awesome server (whose name i have totally forgotten), we ordered two burgers to share. one had lump crab meat, bacon, and bearnaise sauce. the other had burgundy wine/mushroom/truffle sauce, bacon, goat cheese, and grilled onions. we also ordered fries to share.

who can argue with this???

ok, all i can say is OH MY GOD. the meat was perfectly juicy and cooked medium well. the sauces were amazing. the lump crab meat was real crab. the bacon was thick and both crisp and tender. the grilled onions were perfectly caramelized. the buns were buttered and toasted. we crammed our food in and both got stomach aches. we actually barely touched the fries but they were delicious too. fresh cut potatoes just fried probably 5 minutes earlier.

avani cannot argue

at the end of our meal, the waitress tried to tempt us with gelato but we were too stuffed to even think about it. and then she brought us some anyway! a little taste of both the mango and the black raspberry. they were tasty (especially the mango... it tasted exactly like real mangoes) and very light. still, we couldn't finish it.

me wasting precious time taking photos when i could have been eating

our total bill was $42 which is definitely more than you might expect to spend on burgers and a couple drinks, but well worth the price. you could easily have eaten cheaper... a burger alone costs $6.50, and an order of fries is $3.50. it was all the add-ons that raised the price for us.

i totally loved terry's and i can't wait to go back to try more of their awesome menu! you guys should all go as soon as possible. or don't... by the time we left, the place was full. i don't want it to get overrun!

flat iron steak

anything i need to know to cook this thing? i bought it because it was on sale at bigg's but i have actually never heard of it before. normally i get sirloin or ribeye so i want to know if there are any tricks or pitfalls i should be aware of. i was planning to just toss it on the grill until it seemed to be about medium rare and then do a chimichurri sauce with it.

also, what the hell is a flat iron steak anyway? anyone who wants to educate me on steak cuts is more than welcome... i am confused.

recipes: green bean casserole and steak sauce

my mom was not one of those traditional american food moms. growing up, we ate pesto, whole grains, and stir fries. as a result, i am now completely obsessed with foods like deviled eggs and sweet potato casserole and jello salad and hot dogs. my mom's plan for lifetime healthy food habits was foiled!

i remember the first time i was first introduced to green bean casserole. i was in high school, probably 10th or 11th grade. i was invited over to dinner at my friend amanda's house. her mom had prepared ham steaks (i had never heard of that before), stovetop stuffing, and this amazing combination of canned green beans, cream of mushroom soup, and french fried onions. i could not get enough! what was this amazing delicacy and how had i lived without it? ever since that day, i have been a lover of the dish.

now i kind of forgot about my green bean casserole obsession until march, when i was in LA. the stars aligned and it just so happened that gretchen, who is vegan, decided to make her own version of the casserole. i was intrigued... wasn't cream of mushroom soup essential? no, gretchen explained, she had found a replacement: imagine creamy portobello mushroom soup (which is totally vegan). she shared a taste of her creation and my taste buds came alive. somehow, this was even better than the green bean casserole of my high school days!

once i got home, i had to recreate the dish. gretchen, who really does not care much about cooking, could not give me a specific recipe. "just use mushroom soup and green beans," she said. once again luck smiled upon me and i found a recipe on the trader joe's fried onion can. joy!

what follows is my own recipe, made up based on gretchen's and the trader joe's recipes. i served this to beth t. earlier this week and she loved it. it is absolutely delicious. i have been eating it all week and i am not tired of it. enjoy!

essential ingredients for my green bean casserole

liz's grown up green bean casserole

2 lb. french cut green beans (frozen is ok- i used trader joe's)
2 c. creamy mushroom soup (i recommend imagine's, they are the brand in the square boxes)
3-4 T. butter (if you want to make this recipe vegan, use 2-3 T. vegetable oil instead)
1/2 large or 1 small onion (any kind is ok), chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1/4 c. flour
8 oz. canned fried onions
salt and pepper to taste

boil green beans for about 2 min in salted water. you want them a little more cooked than blanched, but not fully boiled. drain and rinse them off to cool them down.

melt butter in a big pot. cook onions and garlic in the melted butter with a little salt until onions are soft, about 3-4 min. add flour and whisk until it starts to brown a little, about another 1-2 min. add some more salt and pepper. whisk in mushroom soup and cook for about another 1-2 min, until everything combines. add some water or chicken broth if it gets too thick. you want it the consistency of gravy.

turn off the heat and add the green beans to the pot. mix it all until the green beans are coated. dump the whole mess into a greased 9 x 13 casserole dish (i used butter to grease it, but you could also use pam spray or whatever). cover the dish in foil and put under the broiler (about 8 inches away from the heat) for 10-12 minutes. then remove the foil and broil for another 1 minute, or until the top gets slightly golden brown. remove casserole, cover the top with fried onions, and serve.

dinner tonight: leftover green bean casserole served with steak with caper and mustard sauce

i grilled the steak and got the steak sauce recipe from everyday food this morning on pbs, and slightly modified it:

caper and mustard sauce

melt 1 T. butter in a pan. add 1 c. white wine. boil over medium-high heat until syrupy, 3 to 4 minutes. whisk in 1 T. dijon mustard. stir in 2 T. capers, a little bit of their juice, and any juices from resting steaks. season with salt and pepper.

i like to cook myself really exciting and special meals every week or so, and especially on a sunday night it is nice to give yourself something to look forward to before going to work on monday. bon appetit!

chalk

i have been so excited to try chalk! i had heard lots of good things from friends and i was really excited about a new wine bar. we decided to go for book club last weekend and i talked about it all week beforehand.

in a nutshell, the way i would summarize chalk is excellent food, excellent wine and drinks, and average-to-below average service. the whole experience started off on a weird note when we were not seated until 8:05 when we had made a 7:30 reservation. this in itself was not such a huge deal... there were 8 of us and a couple people were running late so really we were not all even there until about 7:45. but there was no apology or even acknowledgment of the fact that we were kept waiting for over a half hour. we asked a couple times if our table was ready and the hostesses were just like "no." when we were finally seated, the hostess did not say she was sorry for our wait and in fact acted like we should be happy to even be seated at all.

not a great start. it's the kind of shit i would expect from red. but come on chalk, you're in covington and your most expensive entree is $22. you have no excuse to have an attitude.

finally seated after a loooong wait

our server was pleasant enough but nothing special. he had to be repeatedly coaxed to even make a recommendation. and when we asked questions about a few food items, he just did not provide enough information. for example, emma was thinking about the winter fruit salad. she asked what was in it. he just listed the fruits. no recommendation about the flavors or the dressing or whether it was good or if something else was better. he seemed to have no enthusiasm or excitement about the food. it was not a deficient performance on the part of the server... it's just that i expected more.

the food was really excellent. absolutely not a single miss among everything we ordered. some of the best things we had were:

calamari appetizer (not pictured). it was prepared in two ways: one was breaded cubes... yawn. well the other style was amazing. it was the tenderest, thickest, most luscious and toothsome calamari which had been skewered and just barely cooked and covered in this sweet, tangy, polynesian-ish bbq sauce. sooooo wonderful.

duck sloppy joe. tender, sweet, chewy, salty, rich, awesome.

scallops. i am a scallop freak and order them constantly and i honestly think these were the best scallops i have ever tasted. they exceeded my wildest dreams.

pork belly. melt in your mouth wonderful.

the fish special. i forget what fish it was but it was in a green curry/coriander/cream sauce. i actually did not get a chance to taste this one but everyone raved about it. on the side are the day's mashed potato special - these are made with sun dried tomatoes and roasted garlic. very yummy.

after all that we of course had to have dessert. we tried the strawberry panna cotta, "flight of the cupcakes," and the special for the night: irish car bomb cake. all were rich and luscious, with interesting flavors and textures. however dessert was probably not the best idea because i spent the last part of the evening unbuttoning my pants and bitching about my stomach ache.

flight of the cupcakes

we also tried several wines and mixed drinks and liked all of them. we especially recommend the pomegranate fizz, which is light and refreshing and not too sweet.

overall i definitely recommend chalk. they just opened a couple months ago so let's hope they get their service in order.

bouquet

so the other day i was reading citybeat and i came across this article and i was like i have to go there!!! how could a wine bar have passed me by? i have been all excited over chalk and lavomatic opening (has chalk opened yet? the link to seems to say it has but i thought it was not opening until the end of this month) and meanwhile there has been a great place open just across the river for months now. also, i have no intention of becoming a jean robert snob and am happy to partake of any and all wine bars available.

up until now i have pretty much only gone to awakenings for wine, and the last time i went there the new wine guy who replaced the old wine guy had just quit and they had no clue what to do about it. i am sad about the end of an era at awakenings, but happy that cincinnati has caught up with the rest of the world and is basically shitting out wine bars left and right.

anyway, back to bouquet... it is a new restaurant and wine bar in mainstrasse. i really wanted to go for dinner after reading about the lamb in citybeat, but they were full until 8:30 and we were hungry so we decided to just grab some food at the cock and bull and then get wine there. (our food at the cock and bull was reliably average irish pub style food, not really worth writing about).

the place is adorable (warm colors, exposed brick, hardwood floors, candles, flowers). the food looked amazing. the wine selection is interesting and fairly short (meaning not overwhelming). i was there with celia and laura and we each tried 2 different wines and liked them all. each wine on the by the glass list was carefully chosen, distinctive, and very reasonably priced.

good wine + sophisticated yet relaxed atmosphere + delicious (looking) food + great service + reasonable prices = bouquet has it all!

along with our wine, we had the cheese plate (good but not memorable), the italian cream cake (yummy), and some strawberries dipped in chocolate that were not actually on the menu and we just saw and became obsessed with. we chatted with several of the people working there, and everyone was really friendly and welcoming. we learned from one of the owners that she and her boyfriend (the other owner) live upstairs and it really felt like you were just hanging out at their house - the atmosphere was fun and relaxing and welcoming.

it was a lot of fun to just sit and chat at the bar, and it turns out they will serve you food at the bar as well which is nice if you want to eat there and can't get a reservation. we stayed for hours and chatted and just enjoyed the atmosphere and the wine. the best part is that i was so excited about bouquet and it turned out to live up to all of my expectations (which were very high based on the citybeat article). i will definitely be back!

readers, you have to check out bouquet as soon as possible. we need more places like this around here and we can't rely on jean robert for everything.

chimichurri, visitors, cooking, and honey

becca sent me an awesome sounding chimichurri recipe which i will share with all of you. you can thank me (or her) in cash. boys, she's single. from becca:

I found a recipe for Chimichurri sauce...it was delicious. Although not as delicious as at that steak place :)

1 bunch parsley (about 1 cup firmly packed), chopped
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
3/4 cup olive or vegetable oil
1/4 cup white vinegar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper

In blender or food processor, place all ingredients. Cover and blend on high speed until will blended. Cover and refrigerate 2 hours.

in other news, i have been very busy entertaining guests. heather was here 2 weekends ago and we mostly went to places i have already written about i think (song long, jean ro bistro, beth and jim's house... good luck getting reservations there).

heather at jean ro bistro... she showed that chicken who was boss

then this past weekend bryan was here. we mostly cooked but we did go to green papaya (a neighborhood thai place in hyde park/oakley which offers tasty and fresh food, a fun atmosphere, an excellent selection of seafood options, and quirky service... in other words a typically good cincinnati thai place) and honey (one of the best restaurants in cincinnati).

bryan gives honey thumbs up. he had the citrus glazed salmon special. it came with lobster ravioli and had yummy wasabi roe on top. mmmm...

my lamb was amazing... it came with lentils and string beans and had a delicious coffee sauce

with honey you just can't go wrong. the food (which changes seasonally) is awesome, the service is always attentive, knowledgeable, and friendly, the prices are totally reasonable, and the atmosphere is both sophisticated and low key. if you have not been, go there immediately.

anyway, as i said, we cooked most of our meals. bryan told me before he came that he wanted to cook which made me happy of course. plus he did all the dishes!

food lessons learned during bryan's visit:

• fresh pesto > frozen pesto (even when homemade)
  
• cooking chicken to the "recommended temperature" makes for a dried out piece of crap instead of a meal... salmonella here i come
  
• excellent guacamole becomes life-alteringly awesome when sun dried tomatoes are added
• the proper pinkish white sauce for fish tacos remains elusive (any recipe recommendations?)
• i am a kick ass griller (oh wait, i already knew that one)

here are the best recipes from the weekend:

the best guacamole ever

4 ripe but not rotten avocados (avocado ripeness is KEY to this recipe)
2 or 3 cloves of garlic, minced
1/4 to 1/2 sweet onion, chopped or minced (depending on your preference)
juice of 1 to 3 limes (again depending on your preference)
chopped fresh cilantro (enough to make it taste good which is about 1/8 to 1/3 of a bunch, depending on the size), washed, stems removed, and chopped
EITHER 1 or 2 chopped, seeded tomatoes OR about 4 oz. chopped sun dried tomatoes
plenty of salt

peel and pit the avocadoes (i usually do this by quartering the avocadoes, sticking my knife in the pit, pulling it out, and then pulling the skins off). put them in a bowl. squeeze some lime juice over them. add garlic and onion and salt and mash up. add cilantro and mix. then add tomatoes and mix. taste for salt and lime and add more if necessary. i rely very much on my taste when making this. serve with whatever or just eat it with a spoon. bryan called the sun dried tomato version "crack on steroids." mmmmm...

grilled tuna

i know this recipe seems silly but i include it for the grill novice who does not understand how simple and easy and within your reach excellent rare grilled tuna is. and if you don't want it rare, just cook it longer (but that is kind of missing the point in my opinion).

2 albacore tuna steaks
juice of 2 to 4 limes (and/or lemons)
4+ garlic cloves, minced
salt

mix the lime juice, garlic cloves, and salt. marinate the tuna for 5-10 min per side. turn the grill on high. once the grill is hot, either baste a little oil on the grill or drizzle it on the tuna steaks. grill the steaks for 2-3 min. per side. use a spatula to flip them so you don't break them apart. take them off the grill and let them rest under foil for about 15 min. slice against the grain. eat. die of happiness.

once you make this, which really is excellent just as it is, you can mess around with the marinade ingredients. you can try other citrus juices, or soy sauce/hoisin sauce/black bean sauce, or add some spices like chinese 5 spice powder or cayenne or ginger. the possibilities are endless!

what we did with our tuna was make it into tacos, but since we didn't love the pink sauce we made, it may have been better to eat the tuna on its own or in a salad.

happy eating!

brown dog cafe

i am so damn behind in these posts. it is getting out of control. ok. so last weekend i went to brown dog cafe for restaurant week with friends and friends of friends. we found out that the chef had redone the menu just for restaurant week, which was cool, although many of the options are available on the regular menu so that is good since everything was so delicious! the menu focuses on highlighting different kinds of meats (ie- steak, duck, lamb, seafood) in exciting ways. who can argue with that? well, vegetarians i guess...

rather than try to describe everything we ate, which would be impossible and also bore you since there were 7 of us and we all ate different things, i will just give you some visuals:

steak arapas with avocado salad appetizer... mmmmm

brian (not on the menu) with cheese cups (also not on the menu)


roasted beet and goat cheese salad. beets make me gag but i am sure if you like beets this would be very tasty


i am just going to copy the description from the menu on this one: "Sumac Pan Roast Boar Tenderloin served on Acorn Squash with Sweet Potato Caramel Mashed, Haricot Vert with Root Vegetable Straws, and Blackberry Demi." seriously. where else in cincinnati can you get wild boar??? i had this and it was AWESOME.


has tuna ever looked (or tasted) this good?


rhubarb crisp... YUM


ridiculously delicious banana and chocolate concoction which i was too full to finish :(

the ambience is nice... kind of dark and woody and calming. there were some weird pictures on the walls that looked like they had been stolen from a circa 1985 hotel room wall. but you didn't really notice that unless you were looking for it. overall a much better atmosphere than i might have expected from a strip mall in blue ash.

service was absolutely excellent. our waitress was very knowledgeable about the menu and she was also a high school english teacher it turned out so she was really excited to find out that some of us are in a book club and had some good books to recommend. i actually ended up giving more than the "gratuity added" tip because she was so awesome.

celia picked our wine and it was excellent. i cannot remember what it was called.

we did get a pretty good deal since it was restaurant week... $25 for a three course meal. i think the restaurant would generally have been quite a bit more expensive than that (i think maybe $25 would get you an entree). still, i think it is worth it since it really was a very memorable and enjoyable meal all around. plus i don't think you usually have to worry too much about a crowd because of the location.

everyone really enjoyed the meal, the service, and the atmosphere. we came in at 8:45 and they usually close at 10 but we did not leave until 10:30 and we didn't feel rushed or anything. so i say go there as soon as you can scrape together the cash!