the ohio state fair in pictures + super exciting bonus!

whenever alex and lina come to visit me, i know we are going to be doing some crazy shit. they are native new yorkers and enjoy visiting cincinnati in order to "see the midwest." the thing is, their idea of what that means is totally hilarious. the last time they came to visit me, their top sightseeing destinations were a flea market and a megachurch. this time? the ohio state fair. i'm serious. they planned their visit around the dates of the fair.

who's ready for some culture shock?

fortunately the fair was pretty much everything they were hoping for and more: lots of good people watching, some weird spectacles such as the freak show and the butter cow, and more fried food than you could possibly imagine. i'll admit it, even a seasoned midwesterner like me was totally in shock at the array of heart attack inducing menu options. so here you have our trip to the state fair in pictures:

i'm watching ewe

president, young mullets of america club

which one of these people is not from ohio?

yum, fettucine alfredo that has been sitting out in 90 degree heat all day!

i took a picture of this because i figured nobody would believe me otherwise

file this one under "looked better than they tasted." i don't know why we thought chicago dogs at a state fair would be good.

nice to meat you

i'm feeling a little horse (sorry but i can't resist these stupid puns)

based on my scientific calculations, fair food is 83% more likely to be served on a stick than any other food

don't give me that look, lardass... you are the one ordering the deep fried bacon cheddar mashed potatoes on a stick, not me

liz: (loud voice) hey lina look, it's little chicken nuggets!

random kid: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! mommyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

lina: haha, gross. you are going to hell, liz.

alex wouldn't admit it but i know he secretly wanted a "mexican princess" t-shirt

i should submit this photo to this is why you're fat

lauren and the other cincinnati rollergirls were kicking ass as usual

death trap

liz: oooh, let's play spot the pedophile!

lina: oh my god liz, if you put these pictures on the internet you are going to get sued.

mmmm, veal...

the famous, world renowned butter cow

ok seriously, what the fuck

after some cold, unsatisfying funnel cake we decided to get the hell out of there and eat something truly delicious

it was so hot and gross out that we actually did not even eat much of the food. and we felt like we needed a reward for putting up with all of the weirdness on display. we were in columbus so there was really only one answer: jeni's.

check out that flavor selection

if you haven't had jeni's ice cream, you haven't lived. i know i just sat here and raved about dojo gelato a few days ago but seriously, jeni's is amazing too. i honestly can't say which one is better, i love them both.

i just totally love jeni's

as it turns out, michael at dojo shares my love. he told me their french caramel flavor is his "homage to jeni's." jeni's does a salted caramel ice cream that is really unique and tasty, it's the whole salty-sweet flavor combination. personally my favorite jeni's flavor is the cherry lambic sorbet, but you really can't go wrong with any flavor they make.

they were happy to learn that not everything we eat in ohio is deep fried

alex and lina loved jeni's and we were all really happy to escape from the heat and mobs of the fair with some cool, delicious ice cream in a temperature controlled environment. after that we stopped at the jeffersonville outlets so that alex and lina could do what they do best... buy shit. we worked up an appetite again and arrived back in cincinnati just in time for a late dinner of half off sushi at dancing wasabi. (fyi: they do half off on wednesday and thursday nights, and also from 10 pm - 2 am on friday and saturday).

i am totally just putting this picture up to harass drew